How are sadness and sarcasm related ?

03 Sep
Name Confidential

Hello everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. Yesterday at home I don't know what happened to my mother she was looking very sad. Me and my brother kept asking her what was the reason, did anyone say anything to her or she was just not feeling physically well. She did not respond to us. When later I asked her what is there for dinner and related questions, she was being very sarcastic abd rude. I have noticed whenever she is sad, she behaves like this that too with me only. She will be sarcastic and rude for no reason and pour down all her frustration on me. Always. I stay shut and but sometimes it just crosses my limit and end up accusing her of always throwing her frustration on me even if i don't want to.  Does sadness too leads to sarcasm ? And why does people take out all their anger on that one person only who is not even at fault ?

Responses 3

  • Upasana Sengupta
    Upasana Sengupta   Sep 07, 2017 01:07 PM

    Hey, I hope you are doing well now.

    It is a common occurence when we see someone vent out their frustration on a person who has nothing to do with the reason of their anger.

    The body needs to take out its anger. Maybe because they're not feeling well or may be because of some incident that took place. Many of the times, we are not able to show our anger in front of people or need to subpress it then. But when at home, within our own people, the urge to subpress or control our rage weakens. We usually tend to shout or even abuse members, even if dont intend to.

    Your mother turning sarcastic is very natural, not ideally correct, but natural. I know you get a hard time, but words said in anger is never true. Your mom doesnt mean any of those things, so try not to take anything to your heart that might ruin your relationship. 

    Mothers have a strange bond with their daughters. They expect them to understand everything without having to explain them the matter. They usually dont expect this from sons, they tend to feel their daughters will connect more. Try not to push her on whats the matter or why is she sad whenever she feels low. Give her some time to calm down and then approach her.

    Talk to her later, even when you have a big fight. I can surely tell you she curses herself more for getting mad at you. Talking, alone can solve many problems and it will also help in future incidents. 

    I hope your condition betters. Take care. 

  • Name Confidential
    Anonymous   Sep 05, 2017 01:43 PM

    Hey there. Yes, I am doing well. Hope you are doing well too. Thankyou. 

    Many times we don't know how to express our sadness or anger. We often portray mixed feelings. We don't know how we feel, how we should fix it and how we should react. It not only makes us confused but the people around us get confused about the state of mind of these people as well. I understand its very tough to always be certain about how to react and what are the right ways of responding under certain situations. 

    Your mother might be sad. Many people resort to sarcasm as a defense mechanism to something they are feeling. They don't know how to express themselves or or they have difficulty expressing themselves. In the case of mothers, they will get mad but prefer not to express because she doesn't want to blame or accuse someone. She will willingly endure it. At times like these, even my mother starts throwing taunts and being sarcastic. And even she acts like this with me only. It took me a long time to understand why this disparity. I realised that it's because she hopes that I understand. She hopes that I won't take it in the wrong sense, and understand her situation of being helpless. 

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Sep 03, 2017 01:38 PM

    Hey! We hope you are doing well too. We're good,thanks!

    I feel sad about how your mom treating but if we look at things from her point of view, then she is also not at fault,really. When she displays her anger on you that is a psychological form of defense mechanism known as displacement.Here,we displace our anger or overt emotion from a dangerous object to a safe one. So when you do not respond, and also by relation you are a safe object and she wants to put it off and be done with it. However,it is not right. Alos,maybe she only picks up on you because she believes that even if nobody else is asking for her or how she is doing,she expects good treatment from you and you might not have been able to respond to that so she might have felt all the more angry.Please know that sarcasm is nothing healthy and should be prevented as much a spossible but whne we are say,sad or angry we want to displace our emotions and sarcasm is the best way to do that without diectly hinting it out to the other person.