How do I deal with such a situation?

04 Sep
Name Confidential

Hey,

So basically i have two sets of friends, one my college friends and the other my hostel friends . I really am on good terms with them and really enjoy being in their company .I find it really difficult to manage time between the two. I try spending more time with my college friends , then my hostel friends accuse me of not spending enough time with them, How do i overcome without offending either of them? Why are they acting as such? Are they being possessive of me? How do I explain them my situation? Please suggest an ideal way out.

Responses 4

  • Name Confidential
    Anonymous   Sep 17, 2017 11:25 PM

    I don’t think we can deny the fact that there are various factors which influence our decisions, behaviors, thoughts and ideas. Oftentimes we make decisions based on what those around us think even if it is not something that we agree with. We need to break that practice because it is important that our decisions, thoughts, behaviors and ideas are congruent with who we are as people. We need to consciously make decisions and think twice to make sure that it is what we really want to do.

    You need to stop playing by the rules and get out of your comfort zone, only then will you be able to truly be who you are. Being stuck in the same surroundings can often lead you to think in the same way each time. You need to explore more, meet new people and understand different cultures. That makes you more open-minded and allows you to make more well-rounded decisions that are based on your own understanding of what is right and wrong.

  • Name Confidential
    Anonymous   Sep 06, 2017 07:45 PM

    Hello, I totally understand your issue. I have been through this. I myself have two sets of friends in college. Initially one set of my friends used to complain the same as your hostel friends and it was difficult for me to maintain and divide my time in both the places but slowly everything fell into place. You stay almost the entire day in college with your college friends so when you go back to hostel make sure that then you don't spend time with your college friends over the phone until its important and necessary. In hostel spent time and have fun with hostel friends. Try to manage like this. Regarding outings once you can go with hostel friends and once you can go with college friends. You will have to try to manage this. If you can mix up both your groups, make them friends with each other, it would be best. Tell your hostel friemds that both of the groups are equally important to you abd both mean to you. You can't choose one over the other. Tell them you will spend time equally with both. 

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Sep 04, 2017 11:42 PM
    Hey there! I hope you are doing well. It is always nice to have a bunch of friends with it becomes equal a confusing when it comes to taking sides or dividing a time amongst them. It is nice to know that you have friends both at your educational institution as well as the place you have been putting up at. Please know that it is a very common dilemma when it comes to choosing friends when we lack time. It would not be wrong to believe that your friends are also right. Your hostel friends might be missing you when they go on an outing and you're not there. This time can be the case video college friends they might not be finding with lectures as interesting as it used to be with you. However the best part is that there is a solution to everything. There are a lot of ways through which the situation can be dealt. Firstly, you must try not to prioritise one set of friends over the other because they are available to you at different settings so they deserve their own place. You can try in video college friends during college hours and then when it is time for you to get back to the hostel you can try sticking around with your hostel friends. Make your girlfriend realise that you have a life without and outside their company as well. It is not friendship is jealousy is a prevalent factor in it. I would not really say that they are trying to be possessive about you with that can be one of the reasons. It can also be that they might be missing your company or they might want you to spend more time with them or maybe explore their personalities as well. You must try telling them that low college friends are also equally close to you and Di have never complained about being in close contact with the hostellers. You can try talking to them personally individually or you can actually have a group conversation regarding this because you must not remain quiet. It is not friendship if it is forcing you to do things which you do not want to do. Do not hesitate in speaking your heart out in front of anybody ever.
  • Name Confidential
    Anonymous   Sep 04, 2017 04:44 PM

    Hi there! 

    Matters of friendship are very complicated. It's like you can never have enough friends at times, and on other times, there is actually no one. It's very important to choose your friends wisely. 

    To be able to decide what friendship you seek, you shouldn't only evaluate it on the basis of fun. You must take care of long guarantee friendship. 

    It's an unfair question to choose one from two groups of friends. I don't think you should do that. You are allowed to make as many friends as you want. You need to talk these both of your friend circles and help them understand how both parties mean equally to you. How you seek company for respective circles at different times. If you are spending more time with one group o friends, it doesn't be mean your friendship with the other groups should becomes any less. You can't compare it, your friends need to trust you when you say everyone matters.