My boyfriend loves to look at beautiful girls while with me

Responses 9

  • Shena Shaikh
    Shena Shaikh   Jul 12, 2017 09:54 AM

    Hi there! Hope you are doing well

    Let’s work on finding a solution for this together :)

    You must be feeling a plethora of emotions at this point of time, but I suggest you talk with your partner and tell him how his actions are making you feel. Communication is key in any relationship and enables you to grow together. You must never hesitate in discussing what upsets you, especially with a partner.

    However, should you talk with him/have talked with him and this behavior persists, I suggest you assess the nature of this relationship and its significance to you. It is blatant disrespect and that is something you shouldn’t take lying down. You are far too important to let anyone treat you in an inferior manner. Many young girls continue to be in a relationship in which they are not treated well, primarily because they’ve been socialized to be docile and lack the confidence to stand up against mistreatment.

    As Maya Angelou said, you are a phenomenal woman. You are worth so much to let anyone treat you poorly. Think about what this relationship means to you and how it will help you grow. If this isn’t one where you feel mutual love and respect, I urge you to reconsider staying somewhere you aren’t treated well.

    I wish you all the best! We are here if you need further help.

  • Rimi Sharma
    Rimi Sharma   Jun 05, 2017 12:39 AM

    It isn’t uncommon to find your partner admiring others in front of you. Many guys and girls tend to do this. What this shows to a certain extent is how easily your boyfriend shares this information with you, which they only share with their friends. I think you should give him and chance. I think you’re insecure, which is natural, too. It is okay to feel insecure time and again, but don’t be bothered about it every time he mentions another girl. Talk to your boyfriend about this, and try to find a middle path where you both can adjust a little and reach a mutual point of agreement and comfort.

     

    Considering that this happens at a normal frequency, I will suggest you to not feel threatened or insecure about this. There will always be people who are good looking and have admirable personalities, but that does not make us any less. Be happy with the way you are because this is whom your partner chose.

     

    Being in a relationship should not mean being bound by set rules and regulations; where the partners cannot admire people of the opposite gender or the gender they are interested in. You should be free to express your liking and/or disliking for things, and discussing matters openly with your partner. A relationship is about being free from judgment, and not being held within boundaries. But, if this admiration leads to comparison, then this is turning out to be a problem.

     

    Be open about your feelings with your boyfriend. Show your insecurities, and do so sincerely. If you aren’t cool with something, show it. Because if you don’t, you’ll end up making matters worse.

     

  • Malika Bindal
    Malika Bindal   May 30, 2017 05:27 PM

    It is natural  for you to get jealous when he looks and praises other girls but dear you have to understand  that after being in a relationship  it does not  mean that you /he can not look towards other person's and can't praise any other  person.U should be happy that he tells you what he thinks of other girls.He loves you that's why he shares his thoughts  with you so don't be jealous. U keep yourself  in his position, don't you praise for other boys?

    Anyway  just understand  him and ya if you observe some change in his behavior  towards you then surely he is loosing interest  in you so keep your eyes open and don't ruin anything .wait for sometime and everything will be clear to you.

    Stay happy,love freely. 

  • Aparna Kanmani
    Aparna Kanmani   May 28, 2017 10:03 PM

    Possessiveness is common in a relationship and is also healthy to an extent. Just because he eyes other girls does not mean he loves you less or he is looking for a better relationship. You are just being too protective of him. 

    Best thing is to talk to him. He probably has no idea that you are being disturbed by his actions. Try to explain what is bothering you. He will definitely understand and make changes to his behavior. 

    Think why you feel disturbed when he does that. It is probably because of your insecurities. You feel intimidated by other girls prettier than you. Accept who you are and love yourself for the same. He chose you and loves you the way you are. There is no need for you to feel threatened and jealous when he eyes other girls.

    Don't intrude other's personal space and also maintain yours. Understand that you cannot dictate him not to look at any other girl than you. You need to give freedom to each other. Let him be who he wants to be. Don't try to control in the name of love.

    Love is based on understanding of each others' true self. Give the freedom each of you deserve. Accept one another. Talk it out openly and spread love! :)

  • Mariyam Abbas
    Mariyam Abbas   May 28, 2017 04:35 PM

    When he is with you alone he'd talk about other girls too?

  • Rachna Lakhanpal
    Rachna Lakhanpal   May 27, 2017 11:57 PM

    *Raise your hand if you've ever felt that way*

    I'm sure that a lot of people---men, women alike---have felt that way at one point in their lives. 

    Of course, its human nature to be attracted to people. And there's nothing wrong in that. What I mean to say is that the reason you have a boyfriend is because the two of you were mutually attracted to each other in the first place, right? 

    That being said, the way you feel is totally natural as well. 

    You are NOT freaking out without a reason. 

    So, how can you resolve this with your partner? 

    I've got a few suggestions for you: 

    1. Talk to your guy
      Try and tell your boyfriend how disrespectful it is when he checks other girls out while with you. Sure, it's a natural thing, but it's also disrespectful. 

      You can always ask your guy to switch places with you and explain how he'd feel if you were checking out other guys while with him. 

      Always communicate how you feel with your partner. Chances are that your boyfriend might not even know it's something that bothers you!

    2. Self love is the best form of love
      Low self esteem, mixed with your guy checking other girls out can lead to a feeling of jealousy and over-possiveness that can turn a good relationship to a bad one really quickly. 

      Always indulge in some self-love and increase your self-esteem. After all, your boyfriend chose you, right!?
       
    3. Talk it out!
      Find a trusted friend and talk your feelings out with the said trusted friend. Chances are that ever her boyfriend might check other girls out as well! 

    4. Find the root cause of your insecurity
      It's obvious that you might feel insecure when your guy looks at other girls. Who wouldn't be?

      But, the question you should ask yourself is why are you feeling that way? 

    5. Don't be a bro if you can't be a bro
      Finally, don't ever pretend to be 'cool' with it if you're not. Always be honest about how you feel. 

    Honesty, trust, fidelity, and love are the four pillars of a healthy relationship. Just be yourself and don't hide how you truly feel.

  • Nandini Ajay Kumar
    Nandini Ajay Kumar   May 27, 2017 07:43 PM

    There are people in this world who feel that - "Beauty should be admired." But they forget that this rule does not apply to all situations. They do not realise what impact it would have on others, especially on their romantic partners. 

    Feeling jealous or envious, uncomfortable, irritable, etc. is completely okay and understandable in such a situation. After all, he is your boyfriend and you deserve all his attention and time. 

    COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. It is very important that your boyfriend is aware f how you feel about this habit of yours. Clear your doubts and seek clarification over his behaviour. If the explanation he gives satisfies you, continue to be in a relationship and be vigilant, as to, if he repeats his behaviour. And it doesn't, then call it off. Never sacrifice or let go of your happiness and your self-respect just because you want the relationship or because yu are scared to be lonely.

    People will come and go. People stay with their own choice and go when they want to. We cannot force anybody to behave the behave we want them to. You are here to stay for yourself forever! So see what gives you the peace of mind. 

  • Arushi Adhikari
    Arushi Adhikari   May 27, 2017 05:24 PM

    Every relationship is built with trust and loyalty. If your boyfriend admires other girls while he is with you, it doesn't mean that he don't loves you, you should trust him. I understand after a certain period of time, these things irritates alot and insecurity increases and it's human nature you need not to worry. We don't share our things which we are close to, then afterall he's your boyfriend ofcourse you would be jealous. Being jealous in a relationship is okay but when it starts exceeding then it can destroy relationships too. The uncomfortableness which you are feeling in your relationship it shouldn't be there, as it creates differences. For a happy and beautiful relationship what you can do is start communicating. Hiding things creates more misunderstandings, what you should do is if you don't like something or you are not comfortable while you are with him or if something is bothering you and you are tensed regarding it, then straight away talk to your boyfriend about it. Don't fight or try to be dominant, be calm and let him know all the things which are bothering you. Tell him that you don't like while he talks or admire some other girl. Second what you can do is try to spend as much time as you can with him. Time heals everything, just try to see the positivity in your relationship and try to find the solution of the problems which you are coming across in your relationship. Problems are the part of one's life it doesn't mean that due to this we end up everything. We need to learn to fight with them. Communication is the power through which everything get's better and better. If you genuinely love him just Trust on yourself and on your boyfriend as well. Your relationship will definitely grow and you guys will be the happiest trust me

  • Swayamprava Pati
    Swayamprava Pati   May 27, 2017 12:12 PM

    Hi,

    Firstly I want to tell you that in any close relationship and perticularly in romantic relationship many people feel the same way you are feeling. Most people feel a little jealous sometimes​, especially when they have strong feeling of attraction and love for their partner. If you are feeling jealous occasionally, then there is no harm in this. Because this is a normal human behavior. But excess of anything is bad. If this emotional reaction is very intense and interfering in  your relationship then it's a matter of serious concern. 

    If your partner is cheating you, then jealousy is totally justified. And perhaps the whole relationship needs to be re-evaluated. But if you feel unduely jealous, where there is no proper or real evidence that you partner is unfaithful to you, then you need some help to restructure your thoughts.

    Fear makes for feeling of insecurity. Fear of loss is the root cause of jealousy. Jealousy also leads to some other negative emotions, such as: anger, hate, disgust and hopelessness. 

    Here are some tips to control your negative emotion of jealousy.

    1. Replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Whenever you feel insecure and you find yourself thinking, " he looked at her, I know he is thinking she is prettier than me, I know he wants to be with her", tell yourself "I know he loves me and he looking at her normally".

    2. Write down your feelings. Whenever​ you are feeling insecure write down your feelings. It can help you get clear prespective of your thoughts and feelings.

    3.Make plan for how you will respond the next time you're feeling insecure with his behaviors. It will make much easier for you to respond normally and calmly when you have a plan before responding or giving any reaction.

    4. Make a gratitude journal. Write down the qualities of your partner that you like in him. Write down every single thing for which you are grateful to your partner. It will bring positivity in you about your partner. You will be thinking more about the positive aspects of your partner rather than focusing on the negatives.

    Hope this will help you.

     

     

     

Book an appointment