Decision making

01 Feb
Name Confidential

I m a lady of 35 years. I m in very complicated situation. We r four sisters& haven't got any brother. My story is my two brothers in law means the husband of my sisters' for my father's house & property had played a game& they brought a guy for me who just married me to trouble me. He started troubling me after sometime of marriage. Some or other ways through neighbours or family members. We were living alone. I married him in 2004. So now 12 years had been passed. I got a daughter after a year of marriage& he tortured me mentally& gave me financial trouble also.After 5 years of marriage I came to know the reality not directly but indirectly. I was a housewife, He got a broadband connection at home ,so I started chatting with other people. With that I came in contact with people. I influenced by a guy sent by him. It's really disgusting that a husband send some other guy to his wife. & during the last 7 years I had relationship with 3 guys sent by him with the intention of getting proof against me & mentally harm me so that either I would commit suicide or go mad. I know that this is not believable but really fact. I made mistakes bcoz of emotional needs, loneliness. In between 2 times I came to my parents home, he thought I would give him divorce as he would show some proofs collected by him.But they couldn't as I didn't scare of that & was ready to go to court. He wanted divorce without giving me a single rupee , so that financially & socially both I would be dependent. But now they are scared bcoz 12 years have been passed & my husband is of 38 years . Now they're in hurry to get divorce but they don't want to go in court as they are scared that I would say the truth. Now I am confused. Either I can get a divorce with around 15 lacs alimony or if I wish he has to live with me as he doesn't want to go in court. I really don't love him but I think to punish him , to live with my daughter& to get financial security I should keep continue living with him. But in a way I also think if I would divorce him I can have a new beginning ,will get a suitable guy & a happy life which I can never get after knowing everything , Even the person can send someone for sexual relationships can never give me a happy life or he himself won't be happy. But if I would divorce him what would happen to my daughter. They hardly allow me to meet my daughter in last two years. So I feel what is the use of this kind of relationship. Now what should I do, should I divorce him ? Is it really possible to get a suitable partner at the age of 35. I m not bad or excellent looking woman but can say an average woman. I m M.A , B.Ed. had worked as a teacher for three years , upset with life, looking for a better family life which I never got, as my husband marry me just for his benefits. He was nothing when he married me , with help of my family members , my jijus , now he is earning 1 lac per month, & has become quite powerful . I got trouble through out these years& now when he has everything , why should I leave him?

Responses 1

  • Dr. Ibrahim Abunada
    Dr. Ibrahim Abunada   Feb 01, 2016 01:33 PM

    Dear, I have read your personal story several times. I think it is not easy life under these circumstances. Anyway, the only person who can take a sharp and proper decision for your case is you, yourself. You have to think deeply in the negative and the positive things you might gain or loss. Try to consult your trust and close friends to help you to take the right decision. Take your time to revise and revise the deicion before starting your steps to fulfill the decisions you took.


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