Is it a healthy friendship ?

01 Jul
Megha Shah

Freindship is a unique relationship which we all cheerish through out our life and tend to make the best kind of freinds. But sometimes we give in too much in a relationship like freindship that can be very unhealthy for the relationship and as well as the person facing it. Often this is seen in teenagers who fall prey to peer pressure. But to what extend is it really only pressure? I recently watched a very well known online series called "13 reasons why?" in which the leading girl is getting raped but does very little to even protect her self from it, making her equally resposible for it. So well dealing similar situation in real life, what can be the other ways of dealing with such scaring experience ?

Responses 2

  • Shivangi Srivastava
    Shivangi Srivastava   Jul 02, 2017 05:15 PM

    Hi there,

    I hope you’re doing well. No doubt, friendship really is a unique relationship which we all cherish throughout our lives. One thing that we all should keep in mind is that here is a limit to everything. All relationships have, and they certainly should have boundaries. By boundaries I mean a limit until which a person can help you with something. Trust me, this isn’t something negative that I’m stating. We often observe that in many cases people end up doing something very harmful and awful for themselves and others just for the sake of friendship or love. Trusting someone is good, but blindly trusting a person is extremely dangerous.

    Talking about the teenagers who fall prey to peer pressure, let’s first discuss the two aspects of peer pressure. Peer pressure can be both, negative and positive. Encouraging a person to do something in life, motivating them and supporting them till the time the person is able to achieve what he or she desires to comes under positive peer pressure. Negative peer pressure basically involves all those things that a person never wanted to do in the first place, for example- Forcing somebody to try a cigarette or doing drugs, etc.

    It is very important of teenagers, or for anybody for that matter to be careful and wise. It is essential to understand what all are the things that are told to them that can help them or destroy them later. Nobody rules you so don’t even let anybody try to do so. Think rationally and critically before making any decision in life, do not do anything in you present for fun’s sake if it has the slightest of the possibilities that it can prove out to be dangerous for you in the future.

    I hope this helps, take care. Have a happy day! :)

  • Melissa D'souza
    Melissa D'souza   Jul 02, 2017 02:59 PM

    Greetings,

     Your post has two parts:peer pressure and a traumatic exprience.

      Growing up,one finds it almost inevitable to escape the peer pressure one is subjected to. Peer pressure is not always bad,there have been instances when children are among competitive peers which thus encourages them to perform well. e.g In a group of say 5 friends if 4 students are excellent at music then the fifth person would also try to be like them.this is positive peer pressure.

     A concerning peer pressure is those which are negative( taking drugs,skipping school to engage in delinquent activities, etc. Any elder should be able to speak to speak to this child and guide them. Teachers,school counselors should keep an eye on such issues.

      To what extent is it pressure? I'd say till the time the child feels that this is something they never wanted or when evident distressing signs are seen such as fear,sleeplessness,carelessness etc.

      As for the second part-traumatic experience,you mentioned 13 reasons why rape scene.The protagonist is shown to be raped by by Bryce. She does agree to the fact that she shouldn't have been there in the first place but then again we all make bad decisions. As for not defending herself during the rape;Its easy to say as a third person she didnt do anything,but in such traumatic situations there are instances when we become numb,when we are shocked and traumatised by what is happening. 

     Just cause she didn't fight back doesn't equate to her being responsible to what happened to her. Rape is sexual intercourse which is forced which means a person has not consented to sex.Hannah never gave her consent and that should be it.

     

    In times of such trauma,people around the victim should be emphathetic and understanding.Trauma experts should be contacted.Those around the victim should make efforts to help bring justice.