Reproduction or adoption? What shall one choose in today's world?

02 Jul
SAKSHI BAJAJ

I have always wondered why people don't consider adoption even if they are perfectly capable to reproduce. With so many homeless and famished children already in the world why would you want to create more? iI know it all boils down to one's own offspring and it's easier said than done. But with us runnning out of resources to sustain the existing population, should we continue to reproduce? Even the couples who are infertile keep trying to have babies through other options, instead of giving love to an orphan. And the movie 'LION' where Nicole Kidman is capable of having kids but chooses to change two lives by adopting them , speaks volumes about this cause. What do you guys think?

Responses 6

  • Sareeta Behera
    Sareeta Behera   Jul 04, 2017 08:47 AM

    It's a good and wonderful aspect to consider. Not just for dealing with the quantitative facet of the society but for imbibing the spirit of humanity in the society at large.

    Even with fertility problems, couples do go far and out of the box to reproduce by any means. The reasons are to procreate one's own generation's legacy, nature's own course to create it's own genetic homo sapiens, family pressures, due to the pains-stigma-discrimination-denigration attached with the couple's with fertility problems, changing life values and lifestyles......the reasons are innumerable and varies across different ages, stages, families and cultures.

    Another additive challenge is the state governmental and regional protocols of adoption formalities. The existing laws do not allow any couple to adopt any child as it is. There are numerous protocols to follow, which can itself be frustrating and disappointing at times.

    Third, most important factor is even if adoption or reproduction is successful, in a nation where more than 60% children are neglected and abused....can we as adults really ensure that they will be safe physically, mentally and socially after they step into this world???

    Well, the reasons are manifold and the decisions can depend on so many factors. One thing that can be done is as adults we need to take a collective responsibility of safeguarding our children and giving them a better childhood. As a part of the society or family, we also need to ensure that couples, parents would be and parenting styles should not be judged or denigrated.

     

  • Manaswini Venkateswaran
    Manaswini Venkateswaran   Jul 03, 2017 11:31 PM

    From what I've observed, most Indians are uncomfortable with the idea of their child not being a 100% "their own". There is a sense of detachment they feel if their child is not related to them by blood. They consider their biological children to be "a part of them" and (quite literally) their own flesh and blood. 

    This could have something to do with the notions of purity and pollution that seems to dominate a lot of religions (especially Hinduism). Maybe people are reluctant to "corrupt" their bloodline by adopting a child. 

    These beliefs seem to be stronger than the practical aspect of it. Sure, they may be okay with other people adopting children, but they'd never do it themselves. There are several misconceptions about adoption. People think they won't love the child enough or vice versa, that it won't really be their child, that the knowledge of being adopted can ruin a child's mental state, etc. 

    There are several misconceptions about adoption. People think they won't love the child enough or vice versa, that it won't really be their child, that the knowledge of being adopted can ruin a child's mental state, etc. In my opinion, adoption, being a choice, would mean that you are all the more devoted to your child (as it was definitely a voluntary move) and many adopted children can be more of a child to a parent than a biological child ever will.

    The only reason for the knowledge of being adopted to mess a child up is the stigma around adoption and adopted children. If you are successful in explaining to the child that biological or not, it doesn't matter, it shouldn't be a problem. 

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Jul 03, 2017 09:53 PM

    Hey there! Thank you for this question. 

    I totally get why you wonder this. Honestly, it all stems down to offspring and people take great pride in having your own children. But unfortunately, it all goes to social stigma. Not having your own children is considered to be a bad omen and in the traditional sense, it is not considered to be normal. Adoption is considered a taboo in many households. 

    I think some ways in which this could be changed includes:

    1) Educating families about the importance of adopting

    2) Pressure our government in promoting adoption than surrogacy

    3) Make more movies and shows related to this topic

    4) Teach families to be more accepting of this idea especially when a couple can't give birth to their offspring. 

    Our society needs to understand and see the importance of adopting and that it is not really as bad as it sounds. Maybe the media could stop over popularizing surrogacy (as many actors are also known to follow this extensively) and instead popularize adoption and happiness people could get with it. And more importantly, advertise the benefits adopting could have on the child and the adopted parents too. 

     

     

     

  • APOORVA PANDEY
    APOORVA PANDEY   Jul 03, 2017 07:41 PM

    I completely agree with your thought. Adopting a young child than reproducing is certainly a good thought. Adoption is primarily done in almost all the cases when the couple is incapable of reproducing. It is this mindset that needs to be changed. Why only adopt when there is no other option left? Why not opt for this as the first option.

    Specially in a country like India, that is suffering from the evils of population explosion, this must be encouraged. It will not only help control the country's population but at same time, bring hopes to millions of stranded lives

    A really very elevating thought, I must say!

  • Radhika Goel
    Radhika Goel   Jul 03, 2017 05:20 PM

    Hey, I think this is a beautiful thought, I have wondered the same for a while now.

    However, for parents, children are a reproduction of themselves. They want to see themselves in them and have others do that too. It's about creating something together and this thought is very hard to let go off because of our upbringing and society mindset. My aunt recently adopted a baby daughter from a teenage mother who had no resources to take care of the child and she is extremely happy. My family that thinks of itself as progressive also brands the child as adopted at every step. They tell others with an air of unfortunateness that she has adopted a baby and not the fact that she finally has a beautiful baby daughter.

    I strongly believe that media today in particular films can go a long way in changing perceptions.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11208986/Adoption-Why-Id-rather-adopt-than-give-birth-to-my-own-child.html  : The author of this article chose adoption over having biological children and she describes the kind of questions and battles she faced.

    Hoping to see change soon :)

  • Melissa D'souza
    Melissa D'souza   Jul 03, 2017 09:35 AM

    Hi, 

    I appreciate your thought.You have raised a very valid point:couples seeks procedures which will help them get own offspring rather than adopt children. We first need to understand that theres always been a stigma surrounding adoption.People are judgmental.Theres this notion that the children at orphanages are unwanted because they were either born out of wedlock,rape,or any other reason for which the society may critize the parents.As a result parents unable to concieve do not  consider adoption simply cause of the fear that these children are born out of these reasons and may turn out to be problematic.However society fails to understand that children are what one teaches them to be.Hence even if the child is born out of wedlock its hardly an issue cause if the  child is raised in a loving and caring environment,the child is going to benefit largely.

    In this light,there needs to be campaigns which support and encourage adoption.As a society we need to be supportive of such decisions(adoption) and be  non-judgemental when we come across couple who have adopted and must appreciate their efforts.

      Every couple has a right to decide the procdure to have children.Adoption may or may not be among those.However every couple should be encouraged to consider adoption as there are many who are waiting to be loved.In hindsight this would also help curb the increasisng population.As a society we need to be compassionate towards families who decide to adopt too.