My uncle is an alcoholic

03 Jul
Name Confidential

I have an uncle who is almost 40. He is very badly addicted to alcohol since half of his life. 1 woman has divorced him for this and 1 is in the process. There are no family reasons behind this for sure. He causes family issues. My grandmother and another uncle have gone through hell to keep him together and have broken links with him too. He keeps causing problems which leads to home eventually. He tried to leave his addiction by attending psychologists, joining rehab, medications, faced withdrawal symptoms, but he always drinks alcohol again. It is very painful to watch him ruin his life. Any suggestions?

Responses 3

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Jul 08, 2017 03:13 PM

    Hi!!

       I can understand your bitterness.It will really make you to feel depressed of your uncle's state,Better you can try something new to releive your uncle from alcohols.There will be some valid reason for your uncle's state like addiction else due to some depression and frustration.First,try to figure that out.Then you can get into next step to help your uncle from alcohols.Make sure for the reason.Being addicted can do suggest some counselors and psyacartists.

       Nowadays,online counselors are also available.I suggest you to check this website.they are the ewellness expert,who can resolve all kinds of depression,addiction,stress and anxious.Try to communicate with your uncle more to get a good understanding.so,that you can make a clear vision for your uncle's state.Also,plan some long distance travel along with family for refreshment to feel new surroundigs and environment.

    Hope,it helps you

    Take care  :)

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Jul 03, 2017 10:15 PM

    Hey there. 

    Surely, this is a very tough position for you and your family. It's obvious that any suggestion here would have been therapy and rehab, but if that did not work, then there is a thin line of hope. But I wouldn't completely deny that there is no hope, there always is a small chance that he will change. So never rule out any possibilities. 

    Alcohol addiction is a horrible thing for anyone and as any addiction, quitting or getting out of it is going to be even tougher. I would like to suggest a few possible solutions. You might scoff at them especially since huge things like visiting psychologists and rehab didn't work, so how could these small solutions even remotely be effective? But your situation is a matter of chance, and at this point, any suggestion could be your solution. 

    So firstly, do the most basic thing. Talk to him. Don't confront, don't blame, don't accuse. But just talk. Don't talk about his alcohol problem, but talk about anything that interests him. Be it sports, or movies or whatever. The point of this talk is to allow them to open up to you. And I'm sure sooner or later he will find a comfort level in which he can share his problems. Act like his friend, don't act like a therapist. Let him know that no matter what you don't judge him. Keep quiet for a while and once he realizes himself that he has a problem, he will try to find a common ground. And you'll be surprised that once he realizes he has a problem he will try to curb the situation. 

    Secondly, once you've managed to open his trust, try to make deal with him. Addiction can't simply go away overnight. If he admits he has a problem, then be like he can learn to curb it down by having to say 2 glasses of alcohol rather than the actual number. Keep reducing it, and keep a watch. And he will learn to control his drinking automatically. 

    Thirdly, encourage him to join something that takes the majority of his time. Make sure he is indulging in more sports and exercise rather than spending his night drinking. Wear him off. Make him do tiresome things so that he just comes home and crashes. Keep an eye on him, without making it too obvious. Because people with addictions are likely to see a threat and will never trust you if they know you are trying to "strip away their happiness" .i.e. drinking or smoking. 

    Lastly, very subtly try to show him the bad effects of drinking haphazardly. The complications of over doing something. Show him movies or shows with this topic. Maybe don't start with drinking problems but show him more of other addictions like smoking or drugs. Maybe he will be able to relate and not want the same fate? 

    I hope these will help. 

    Good luck. 

  • Sameeksha Pavaskar
    Sameeksha Pavaskar   Jul 03, 2017 10:14 PM

    Hi,

       I can totally understand that you and your family have gone through a lot of problems.I think your uncle can try to go to the rehab again and I think it is important to make sure that he completes the course.Many a time it is seen that people addicted to alcohol can actually go to psychologists and they attend rehab but they are not mentally present during the sessions and as each person is different, the time period he spends in rehab also needs to be different.I think you should definitely try sending him to good psychologists again and you can definitely contact our mental health experts available on this portal.

         I think your uncle might need family support as well.There might be chances that as he might be frustrated in some relationship it can be professional as well as personal.There is a need that someone from the family needs to speak to him first.There is some root cause which you need to find out.This reason will help you to find the right solution to your problems.You need to find the real reason behind the divorce as well, there can be some other reason which might have lead to the divorce.

        From the above description, I can make out that you are a very strong girl.I think its better you take some help from some psychologist first about the line of treatment for your uncle and then you can talk to your uncle as well.