How do I confront my boyfriend?

Responses 5

  • Nihalika Verma
    Nihalika Verma   Jul 05, 2017 12:41 AM

    Hi,

    Please tell your partner directly that you are not just ready for it. It won't be rude and it would just be a clear communication from your side.

    Believe me, if the guy is truly interested in you, then he would understand and agree to what you are saying. And if he is only interested in physical you, then it is no use staying in such a relationship.

    Put a hand on your heart, and tell us clearly, do you want to be associated with a person who has no respect for your feelings / thoughts / views? 

    Please dont try to escape the situation, rather try to face it. Face it and win it :)

    Be brave girl, you are not wrong! :)

     

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Jul 04, 2017 11:16 PM

    Hey there, 

    A lot of women actually go through this phase. While your partner might be ready for what is going to be a really important moment in our relationship, you might not be. So breathe, it's very common and happens with everyone in a loving and serious relationship. Just like any other decision, it is your right to say no if you are not ready. Similarly, if you are ready, then nobody should judge you for saying yes. It is a normal process and while in a relationship, it is common to be a little unsure of what you want. 

    The only way out of this is to communicate with your partner. Tell him exactly how you feel, and let him know its nothing personal, and you just need time. Tell him clearly that you are not sure how long you'll need time, but being physical is a big step and you are sure that you need more time to give in to it. Don't use any negative words or anything. Just plain simple language that will assure him how that you trust him and it's nothing to do with him. But it's your choice, and you need to be the one in charge of it. Believe me when I say that nothing works better than face to face communication in a relationship. If you need more time, then say it clearly, without involving other people. Just be yourself and if your boyfriend is truly sincere, then he will understand because 6 months in this day and age is quite long (Sad but true). 

    Hope this helps. 

     

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Jul 04, 2017 05:05 PM

    Hi there! 

    A relationship is based on mutual trust and understanding. It looks to me like your partner has difficulty understanding you and your denial of intimacy at this stage of your relationship. It's natural for an individual to look for intimacy in a relationship because at the end of the day, everyone is a slave to their needs and so is your boyfriend. I wouldn't say his fault is to ask you to get physical but his fault is being incapable of giving your opinions importance. He should respect your decision of not being physical and accept it if he is truly a caring partner. 

    Considering how you are thinking of escaping this situation, I would suggest that you talk to him and resolve it. Hiding away from this problem will not help either of you, you are both mature individuals capable of overcoming this problem. The more you stay silent about it, the more tensions will arise and your partner might also suffer. Tell him why you don't want to get physical and how this situation makes you uncomfortable, I am sure a good boyfriend will understand. 

    However if he fails to do so, I think it's time for you to let go of this relationship because you people might not be compatible in the future and are likely to part ways if not now. 

  • Radhika Goel
    Radhika Goel   Jul 04, 2017 12:02 PM

    Hey, I hope you are doing well :)

    A relationship involves two equal partners, who treat each other as equals and respect each others wishes. It is important that you establish that in a relationship. It is crucial that your partner respects your wishes as you respect his. I suggest you have an open conversation about this, tell him how you feel and that you are not comfortable with the relationship getting physical. It is important for you to not state this but open this sensitive issue to discussion and listen to what he has to say too. So, have an open, rational argument. 

    Never succumb to anything against your wishes because that will set in tone the kind of relationship you are going to have in the future. Hope it works out for you guys!

  • Ravsharan Kaur
    Ravsharan Kaur   Jul 04, 2017 01:30 AM

    Hi,

    There comes a phase when you meet someone and develop an infatuation towards them. This further makes you crave attention, care and intimacy. Relationships involve equal participation of both individuals and their is no being who could force you to go against your likes and dislikes. Many girls get into physical intimacy with the fear and insecurity that if they don't the relationship will dwindle, which clearly shows the foundation of the relationship itself wasn't strong enough. If you two genuinely feel for each other then make him understand what you're feeling about the whole scenario and if it makes you uncomfortable, tell it to his face. You must never ever spoil your peace of mind for someone. If he's really into this relationship and takes 'NO' for an answer to this, then he's a keeper. Or else, you know what to do.

    All the best! :D