jealousy

04 Jul
Radhika Goel

I have a friend who is doing so well in the same field as me because her teacher gives her unlimited chances and opportunities but even though I am as talented as her I get none because I learn in a very large class and my teacher does not notice me. She will get to dance with so many talented people and get so much money for the dance. Even though I am extremely happy for her success, I feel incompetent. How do I get rid of these feeings of jealousy? 

Responses 5

  • Rimi Sharma
    Rimi Sharma   Jul 24, 2017 03:33 PM

    Hey!

    Hope you’re well.

    It is quite a  difficult thing to accept your own weaknesses. And you have done a great job for starters.

    It is common for us to feel envious of people who are doing better than us, and we may feel many a time that they do not even deserve it because we are working harder than them. It may be true, but let us not delve into that, right now. We often tend to focus on only the negative things of the person we are envious of, and that leads to us filling ourselves with negativity.

    If you think that you are passionate about your career, then look for opportunities to show your talent. Speak to your teachers, try looking anywhere outside as well. She may have got the chance without trying, but you still have the ability to look for chances for yourself. Channelise your energy into something positive and improve your skills. But don’t do that to prove that you’re better than others.

    In the meantime, look at the good things you still have in life.

    Count your blessings and be happy.

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Jul 04, 2017 09:44 PM

    Hi!!

       I can clearly understand your plight situation.Yet it gives you bitterness as you are in large class with unnoticed teacher.Your jealous is really acceptable.You can better talk with your friend and discuss about her actions and daily activities with her teacher.To be hidden by you from your talent will really make you fel depressed.But you should come forward and work for it.Be sportive and motive.When your friend wins in some competitions else participate try yourself too to participate in and work for it.

    TTry to communicate with your friend more about her classes.So,that you get more information about the competitions and also like dance classes you have been mentioned.Try to motivate yourself and work more in your talented platforms.Spent more time and improve on it.

    Hope,it helps you  :)

  • APOORVA PANDEY
    APOORVA PANDEY   Jul 04, 2017 08:41 PM

    Well before I say anything about feelings of jealousy towards best friend in particular, we must understand that 'jealousy' in itself is a very negative emotion. So it naturally follows that be it your best friend or anyone else, jealousy shouldn't become your defining characteristic. Well, comparing oneself with others on one side and feeling jealous of them on the other, both these emotions apparently look similar but there is a subtle difference between the two. Comparing oneself with others entails the thinking ' If she could, why couldn't I?' Jealousy on the other end includes the kind of thinking' If I couldn't, how could she?'. The former inspires you to improve yourself. The latter causes you to think and act negatively towards others.Understand the difference.

    Jealousy, per se, reflects in your behaviour towards others. It is bound to have an adverse impact on your relations with others. More so, with your  best friend. Thus this feeling should be prevented from influencing our behaviour as much as possible. It's better to take inspiration from others and learn from them than being jealous of others. 

    May be th best way you get rid of such feelings is to try and become as successful as your friend. If that means doubling your efforts for the same, well then go ahead. Its human nature. No matter on how good terms are you with your friend, you cannot be genuinely haapy for her, unless you have the same achievements as her, you cannot truly rejoice on her successes. Just work on yourself , your jealousy will automatically vanish.

  • Priya Ratti
    Priya Ratti   Jul 04, 2017 06:59 PM

    Hey

    I completely understand how you feel. Sometimes the circumstances that surround us have such a huge effecct on us, that they pull us down into these negative feelings like jealousy. It's okay. It's normal to feel like that. 

    You know the reason as to why you're not getting recognized, i.e. your teachers' negligence. Perhaps you could try talking to your teacher, and by letting her know that you would like to volunteer for any other opportunity that shows up will make an impact on her; and you're just being honest! So when something comes up, she will definately contact you. If you openly talk to your teacher about you feeling incompetent, I'm sure she will help you and do something about it. 

    Other than that, I want to tell you thata you should believe in your abilities. Just because someone else is making progress faster does not mean that you'll never make any. You'll get there too, just focus on what you do and have faith in your abilities!

    I hope this helped. 

     

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Jul 04, 2017 01:33 PM

    Hello. 

    It's nice to know that you are so passionate towards your aim in life. 

    Jealousy is a culprit of mostly all negative emotions. It is a very strong feeling that is hard to eradicate however, one can always try and decrease the intensity. You can do this by not comparing yourself to others. It is true that comparison provides an insight to an individual's growth but sometimes it just leads too much stress and pressure. 

    We are all inclined to opportunities that enable us to climb the ladder of success and it's unfair if we are deprived of it. But sometimes we need to realise that opportunities come knocking on our door when the time is right. Considering that your friend is already provided with the silver spoon of opportunities she might not be working as hard as you to develop the competency of dedication and self motivation. You, on the other side, work harder than you should to get the same opportunities. Don't look at jealousy in the wrong light, it is jealous that encourages you to do better than others and grow as a person by striving hard. 

    Like you said, your class size is large and your teacher does not notice you. You can communicate with your teacher regarding this issue so she can pay more attention to your needs. 

    Hope this helps!