Why did my friend react in such a way?

05 Jul
APOORVA PANDEY

Since I am going to enter the second year in the college, one day all my friends were having a conversation about how would it be like to have juniors and the idea that we would be treated as seniors now.Almost all my friends were happy with this idea. However, one of my friends was actually not very happy with this. she actually said that she wasn't at all feeling excited infact , she did not want her juniors to come.

I have heard cases where elder children behave oddly when a younger baby comes at home, but this is altogether a different case.  I don't know why she reacted this way and how will she react when the new session starts?

Responses 4

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Jul 08, 2017 05:56 PM

    Hi!!

      Hope you are doing well.I can clearly understand your plight siuation.I think your friend may have some difficulties to cope up with the neww surrounding and environment with junior students.You can talk with her about her dejection.And also she may feel shy for the new incomings.she may also think that her comfort zone also get affected.I suggest you to talk with her about the pros and cons of being the arrival of juniors before the session starts else she may feel more uncomfortable and depressed.

    Hope it helps you!!

     

    Take care  :)

  • Minaish Dhabhar
    Minaish Dhabhar   Jul 06, 2017 06:42 PM

    You need not worry at all. 
    Firstly, this can't be compared to an older child getting a younger sibling. Similar in some cases, maybe, but not the same, like you said.

    A lot of people don't want a junior batch entering. Imagine living in a house for a year, all of a sudden, the number of members is to be doubled. That can cause anyone some anxiety. 

    Your friend may just like things the way they are now. More people arriving indicated a change, and a change may be what your friend is trying to avoid.
    Her comfort zone contains you, your batch and your college the way it is now. The next batch coming implies less of what it is now - whether that refers to less attention from teachers, more new social interactions for her to exprience, etc. 

    Either way, this is  just very common college banter and when the junior batch comes in, you're all going to continue living your lives on your own. Maybe even make some new friends, and new memories with the old. 

    Don't worry about it too much, and remember to have fun. 

    Good luck for the coming year! Take care. 

  • Priya Ratti
    Priya Ratti   Jul 06, 2017 06:18 PM

    Hey!

    I understand your concern. Even some of my friends are going through the same thing. I think it is much like having a younger sibling being born- the sharing, the divided love that comes with it.

    I think what your friends might be experiencing is a little insecurity. They have spent a year in the college, and now they have developed this feeling of possessiveness. They feel attached to it and everything that it stands for. They must feel very possessive and defensive to think other students would come, sit in the same library, study in the same classes, meet the same professors and eat at the same canteen. This makes them feel threatened; as if something that is and has been theirs is being taken away from them.

    Well, the only suggestion here is to give it time. It is hard for any college senior to accept freshmen coming into the college. But once they do and make friends with them, they will surely feel a lot more comfortable. This is nothing to worry about, I assure you. She will feel a lot better when the session starts as she gets introduced to her juniors. Sooner or later, she will have to accept the fact that rather than repelling them she must act as a senior who is there to help any junior.

  • Nihalika Verma
    Nihalika Verma   Jul 06, 2017 02:58 PM

    Hi Apoorva,

    As your friend was not happy with the arrival of the juniors. There might be some response, which might have triggered her memory or behaviour. When she was a junior, may be she was not treated well, may be some case of ragging or another abuse. Or, when she was a junior, then may be they inflicted some injury/trauma to their senior.

    You need to speak to her and listen to her empathetically. Ask open ended questions to her, so that she will open up. Give her time to open up, do not force her to reveal her thoughts. Make her comfortable.

    You should try to do this before the new session starts, so that she is comfortable with the presence of juniors. She must end up treating them well and also feeling comfortable in return.

    Hope this helps. :)

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