What are some ways to get over someone?

06 Jul
Minaish Dhabhar

So this is one of the most common questions I get asked.

A lot of people often find themselves with feelings for someone who don't feel the same way. Or, they find themselves going through a messy break-up. 

A lot of the times, people feel stuck on one person and don't know how to handle it. They try to "get over them" but again, a lot of the times, it doesn't work. 

I know it mostly takes time, but what are some things people can do to make themselves feel better and come to terms with moving on from a person?

Responses 5

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Sep 17, 2017 09:36 PM

    hey there I hope you're doing well. I appreciate how you've read this important question with is extremely important in modern times and it is very disappointing to see how the teenage and the youth is getting distracted with temporary relations and how they are actually ruining the beauty of relations and their life just because someone was Unfaithful. 

     very frankly I will not refrain myself from telling you that it is extremely hard to let somebody go and that too when we have developed some kind of Bond with that person. However it is not impossible either. The best way to get over somebody or any message breakup is the fact that we need to realise the important others in a life like her parents and her friends who were ignored all throughout our relationship and maybe we need to spend time with them so that we realise that there are other people who matter to us more than the person who did not turn out to be loyal. Also we can do the things that we always wanted to do maybe get involved in various activities like bungee jumping out things that fascinators or interest us. I hope this helps.

  • Rimi Sharma
    Rimi Sharma   Jul 24, 2017 10:46 PM

    Moving on- it isn’t an easy process. It will take time and may take a lot of efforts. There are many things which people say have helped them in moving on from their broken relationships. Some of them are:

    1. Getting rid of their belongings, which includes the gifts they gave, the cards and the letters they wrote to you. If the memories are harming you, there is no benefit in keeping these trophies to remind you of what you had.
    2. Give yourself the freedom of letting go. Try to forgive your ex for what happened between you both. Try to let go of the memories that are making you sad.
    3. If you find yourself going back to them again and again, remove all forms of contact from your mobile phone/s, and social media sites. This usually helps because when we don’t see something regularly, we tend to forget about them. So, that is the trick here.
    4. Confide in your best friends, close friends or family if there is someone wanting to listen to you. If not, then you can also consult a relationship counselor for your problems. Sometimes, things can go out of hand. So, seek help before it’s too late.
    5. Channelize your time and energy into doing something productive. You can join an NGO or volunteer for them from time-to-time, spend time learning a new hobby or a language, and don't forget to socialize. Being with people will help you heal much faster :)

    I hope I was able to answer your question. 

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Jul 08, 2017 06:51 PM

    Hi!!!

       Hope you are doing well.Moving on from a person is such a difficult situation for everyone.But,its from our loved ones its such a plight situation.If you feel stuck on one person move on to the long distance from that person.New place can give you refreshment with new surrounding and new environment.Also it helps you to make new memories rather then your memory with your loved ones.

      Also,try to be busy always.Engage yourself with things you feel interested and passion.So,that you will not feel lonely and depressed from the person you moved on.Busy things can also helps you to avoid the remembrance of your loved ones.

    Hope it helps you!!!

    Take care  :)

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Jul 07, 2017 01:37 PM

    Hello there! 

    As fun as it is to be in a love and stay committed in a relationship, it is equally tough to get out of one and get over it. 

    This one advice people keep giving 'move on' doesn't make sense to me. How do I move on? It's not easy to completely get over someone you once had feelings for.

    As time passed by, I realised that moving on is basically the gist of what we have to do. When you make up your mind to move on and get over someone, your chances actually increase. A person can either cry and hope for things to get better or be resilient and enjoy the life you are not supposed to waste crying over a failed relationship. So, setting up your mind to move on is the first step. 

    But what next? Enjoy your single life! Go out with other friends, party more. If you are career oriented, dive into the work arena. Think of your future goals, ways to achieve it and conquer the world. 

    One way to get over someone that I learnt by watching the famous sitcom FRIENDS is that closure is important. Tell your significant other that you are over them. Make a list of all the things that you didn't like about them, it will make you think why breaking up is indeed good for you. 

    From my own experience, watching loads of sitcoms while eating ice cream really helps. 

  • Ravsharan Kaur
    Ravsharan Kaur   Jul 07, 2017 02:53 AM

    Hi,

    This question has been bugging people of different age groups, personalities and genders for a long time now.

    A messy breakup or a one sided relationship is destined to make a person vulnerable when one's feelings, emotions and desires are attached to it. The stuck feeling people face is due to the insecurities they face in their day to day life and are unintentionally feeding on them to suffice their day. Insecurities like physical appearance, relationship status, sexuality, age, weight, hair colour, height, money, fear of losing loved ones etc etc. cloud up one's mind and with already so much to deal with, one looks for a source of happiness or a cozy space outside his/her regular life. Once they get attached to the other person, they surrender themselves completely with no further thoughts. Blinded by the emotions of love, fear, insecurity, dilemmas etc. the brain and the heart is befooled. (to a greater extent)

    The reason people find it hard to move on is because they feel safe in the other person's presence and it makes them feel wanted and this is where they tie their happiness to that individual. Without any second thoughts, one offers him(her)self and even if one feels any shackles holding them back and the intuitive power working with its full force, one chooses to ignore it and therefore calming the mind to some extent.

    The getting over phase happens after we've stopped bottling up our emotions and letting them out with full swing and accepted the harsh reality in full senses. Everybody on this planet is different and so are their minds which work differently. There isn't a specific set of rules or ways to make a person get over a breakup. But you should always keep some points in your mind while coping up with this major change you experienced.

    Firstly, you cannot help a person who couldn't see the best in you and didn't pay heed to your efforts or feelings.

    Secondly, life is undergoing changes and so are you. Stem up and blossom into this beautiful flower people will be delighted to see. If not for anyone, do it for yourself. 

    Thirdly, cut all means of communication with the person who not only made you vulnerable but also didn't know what you're worth of. You must never ever compromise with your priorities and needs for anyone and should always know that you deserve respect.

    Lastly, make a list of the things you know are stopping you from becoming a better version of yourself. Cross them out when you've managed to let it go completely and faithfully. Make notes to yourself about the ways in which you'd be better off than ever. Give time to yourself and to the people who genuinely care for you. Go and spread the love to the people who love you back. Be the person you've always wanted to meet.

     smile