Parents fulfilling their dreams through children

08 Jul
Ayushi Jolly

In Indian context,it is very evident how parents pressurize the child to achieve something which they could not. Often a child is forced into a career which he has least interest in.Why is it so difficult for the parents to realize the child's interests and potentia? Is the generation gap to be blamed for it? Often the child revolts and his voice is supressed and he adapts to the lifestyle his parents choose for him thinking that it is destiny. It is a waste of talent.What steps can be encouraged to improve such situations?

Responses 4

  • Shreya Narayanan
    Shreya Narayanan   Jul 30, 2017 11:42 AM

    Hey there Ayushi,

    This is exactly what my friend is going through right now and I think it's is normal nowadays for parents fulfilling their dreams through their children.

    Although in my case,none of them wanted to do what he is doing right now,but seeing the situation of the house, his parents forced him into this stream.

    Now, I don't really understand why parents have full faith in their children when it comes to choosing their careers, but that same faith is gone in a whiff when they want to talk about getting in a romantic relationship. I don't understand this hypocrisy.

    Since childhood,a baby is taught to respect her/his elders and to listen and do what parents tell you and etc. This 'apparent' value imbibed in a child turns into morbid fear of an adolescent to even speak out his opinion out loud. He doesn't want to hurt his parents or she doesn't want to do anything which her parents find objectionable or bad for the society.

    Now, I'm not saying it's all parents fault, sometimes even teenagers tend to have a persuasive mind and get swayed by the words of their peers and colleagues and teachers to try different things. This in turn can lead the parents to think that their child isn't serious about anything,hence they take the reigns of their child's life in their hands and control it, according to them.

    Parents: your child isn't the enemy.

    Students: your parents aren't the enemy.

    Good communication and patience is the key to it.

    That's it.

     

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Jul 27, 2017 08:56 PM

    It is actually a major problem in our country. Many parents prefer their children to do mainstream jobs like that of engineering, MBBS, teaching, lawyer etc. which is why an aspiring artist is stuck into engineering. It can be said that it is due to the Indian culture wherein parents' advices are considered as supreme and children cannot help but give in to their demands. It can also be the case that they are not aware of the technicalities of the field. Example: after 10th, it is a mindset that students taking arts do not have anything to study and there is hardly any scope in it.There should be exposure through career counselling in school which parents should also be encouraged to attend these. Even the child should try and have a heart-to-heart conversation with the parents to make them realise about their interests and parents should encourage them to was the direction and not to be brought down by failure.

  • Anjali Khurana
    Anjali Khurana   Jul 23, 2017 10:17 PM

    this is a major problem in our culture and country. parents continue to pressurize their children into choosing fields that they might not be interested in pursuing. this creates a very unhealthy environment for the family and also has an extremely negative impact on the child. the two people who are supposed to unconditionally support them and let them fulfill their dreams are the ones causing a negative impact on them which puts the child under a great deal of stress. 

    more than the generation gap, it is the lack of mutual understanding, respect, and freedom. parents are often unwilling to listen to their children, and the children are unwilling to speak to their parents calmly and rationally. this huge communication gap leads to many problems. 

    schools should encourage more programs enabling parents to understand their child's interests. career counseling in schools is also very beneficial as the parents and children can easily discuss the options in a healthy manner. parents should be encouraged to not only accept but also promote their child's career interests. children should also make an effort to present their parents with proper research and future prospects in order easily convince them. parents, especially, need to make a greater effort to support their children and their dreams.

  • Radhika Goel
    Radhika Goel   Jul 14, 2017 05:44 PM

    Hey, hope you are doing well :)

    These are some suggested ways for children to talk to their parents about their careers.

    Healthy and open discussions: Discussion being important. One must not state their decision but open it to discussion. Be open to all opinions and let your family help you make an informed decision.

    Councelling: Hire a councellor who can help you and understand and even make your parents understand what is best for you and your career.

    Defined career path: Presenting your parents with a definite plan and career goal will help your parents understand that you are serious and know what you are doing.

    Mutual regard and understanding: Only move forward when you have gathered understanding or you will end up doing every task with guilt.

    Role models: You can try to introduce your parents to people who did something different and our succesful or people in your field who are now succesful and can be a role model for you to follow.

    Hope this helps!