Why is it so difficult to understand the child?

08 Jul
Name Confidential

The problem I am going to discuss is not restricted to Indian context but more prevalent in third world countries. Why are the parents so unacceptable of the child's interests? The situation worsens when the child wants to explore new fields. We are big enough to live alone but do we not realize the good and bad for us? It is so difficult for some children to make their parents understand what they want to do in life.It is sad how so much talent is wasted because of parents.Someone good at art is forced intoEngineering,the other good at sports is pressurized to study Economics. What are the possible causes besides generation gap and what can be done to change the point of view of the society towards such attitude?

Responses 5

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Sep 18, 2017 12:49 AM

    Hey there! I hope you are doing well.

    I totally agree with you on the fact that how the society is clean so backward in all the dimensions even if we are progressing at the speed of light but still the mentality is so second that it is not ready to change. Specially the problem prevails with the elder generation that is that of a parents they just not ready to accept any change in their life and the thing that we as children are also supposed to live the life they used to live it's practically not possible. I personally believe that it is more about the fear of being out group than anything else that scares the generation the most and they have to comply two things even they do not find useful but they have to do it just to be a part of a particular social group and to follow social norms it is absolutely senseless. It is a General problem that nobody is ready to invent something or innovate something everybody wants to follow up with bath and nobody is ready to try something new and whenever everyone does whenever we try anything new we are bound to fail in the first time for that does not mean that we will fail every time with child has to get up loan and then try again and then succeeded but the parents do not allow us to do anything because they think that nobody has done it so they cannot also allow us to do it.

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Jul 30, 2017 10:51 AM

    Hello. It is such a common thing these days and it is pathetic as well. So coming to your question, I think that the problem lies in the culture as in our culture our parents' advice is everything and then the worse part is that even parents are either not aware or they feel that uncoventional career avenues like art or designing has nil amount of work to do. According to them it can be a hobby but not a full-time career. This mindset needs to be changed. Educational institutions can play a huge part in this by providing career counselling workshops which parents should also be encouraged to attend. Also, the parents need to understand that the children have their individualistic aspirations as well so instead of cribbing about it, they should support their children and make them realise that nothing comes easy and hardwork pays.

  • Radhika Goel
    Radhika Goel   Jul 10, 2017 03:59 PM

    Hey, hope you are doing well. 

    I do not believe that the only cause is generation gap, even our parents went throught the same things when they were discouraged to pursue a certain field by their parents and suffered the same agony we do so why don't they treat their children differently. They gre up in a pre-globalisation era and hence had a fewer opportuinites as well thus why do they not encourage their children to pursure what they want? I think it is because of materialistic needs. In today's world one needs money to survive and material things to stay happy and have a social status. One can get that assurance through career paths that are already established like engineering or MBA rather than sports. Thus, I believe parents pressurise kids not just for themselves but to make sure that their kids earn well and thus have a comfortable life.

    I disagree about the fact that you think Indian parents think we are ever old enough to live alone. I think the general Indian mentality suggests we cannot live alone and we always need the support of our parents.

    The only way we can make parents see reason is to show how passionate we are to pursue something and what goals we have in mind for our future.

  • Radhika Goel
    Radhika Goel   Jul 10, 2017 03:59 PM

    Hey, hope you are doing well. 

    I do not believe that the only cause is generation gap, even our parents went throught the same things when they were discouraged to pursue a certain field by their parents and suffered the same agony we do so why don't they treat their children differently. They gre up in a pre-globalisation era and hence had a fewer opportuinites as well thus why do they not encourage their children to pursure what they want? I think it is because of materialistic needs. In today's world one needs money to survive and material things to stay happy and have a social status. One can get that assurance through career paths that are already established like engineering or MBA rather than sports. Thus, I believe parents pressurise kids not just for themselves but to make sure that their kids earn well and thus have a comfortable life.

    I disagree about the fact that you think Indian parents think we are ever old enough to live alone. I think the general Indian mentality suggests we cannot live alone and we always need the support of our parents.

    The only way we can make parents see reason is to show how passionate we are to pursue something and what goals we have in mind for our future.

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Jul 08, 2017 02:44 PM

    Hello there,

    I would like to begin by stating that this is an issue that is faced in many of the traditional cultures. Cultures where family bonds are the most important things for society, whereas the Western culture focuses on more individualistic lifestyles. What is even more shocking is that parents no matter how educated still end up forcing their children into things they don't want to do. And the answer to this lies in how parents often want to keep up a legacy. They want their names to shine through their children. 

    It is also an issue caused because parents of traditional societies find it their right to expect their children to be and do whatever they want. They have this mentality that thinks, "Oh I gave you life and now I am your master.". While it is semi-justified to think that because well, he or she is your child and you have your own rights, but after a certain point, they become distant to you and this is because they have their own lives building up for them, and the last thing they should get is you coddling them. 

    I think this situation can be helped through education. And not just educating in schools, but educating through the media. Instead of having the regularly themed saas-bahu serials on tv, people should start making storylines based on how to understand your children better, psychological issues related to it and what really happens amongst today's youth. This is perhaps the only way traditional cultures will be able to get past this issue.