Would friends understand my problem?

08 Jul
Name Confidential

So, I experience these episodes where i do not wanna go out, do anything or meet anyone. I just wanna shut off. So I switch my phone off and stay silent and alone. During this time I really don't want to see or meet anyone. Is "i don't feel like doing anything or meeting you" a reasonable excuse? I mean it's true but, if i say this to someone would they take it as rude or would they understand? Is it rational on my part to do so? Please help. 

Responses 6

  • Aishwarya K
    Aishwarya K   Jul 30, 2017 05:23 PM

    Yes, I think people will definitely understand if you phrase it in better way. You should not really need to explain yourself when you don’t feel like doing something, but sometimes it is not about how you feel but about the way the other person takes it. Our friends really care about us and want us to be happy so when we say things like we don’t want to meet them, it is necessary to explain why so that they don’t take it personally.

    I understand that sometimes you just don’t feel like meeting people or socializing and just want to spend some time alone to introspect or spend what I call “me time.” It is perfectly normal to do that, in fact it is healthy to be alone sometimes. It helps to put things in perspective. You just need to explain this to your close ones so that they can understand your needs better and so you won’t have to keep explaining this to them every time you feel this way.

  • Mukul Arora
    Mukul Arora   Jul 24, 2017 12:18 AM

    Hello there,

    To be honest as I do not know about you much or your life experiences, I can only say that every action and response is result of some cause. So to understand this I don't think it would be fair to lecture you obout friendship or such . So first lets just focus on you. 
    As you said you experience these episodes I suppose at days when you feel so blue when you don't like participate in any activities with friends are there for a reason . IT could be either you are going through some relationship issues with your loved one,even it can be family or it might be because of some old memories that might be troubling which you are not able to let go off. The reason I am saying this is because it is normal to feel sad some days because of this reason and if really you are not able to let go then you need to talk someone. Then again I am not asking you to go to parties n all .Just share your thoughts with anyone you trust . See it is understandable when you don't like to go with somebody because you don't like that specific activity or person but the way you described the case it just says that you are suppressing sopmething which is unhealthy. So once try to figure this out by sharing with someone you trust or sme professional help or even on this platform . That must be your highest priority right now. So if you got anything to say we can always be there to listen to you. 

  • shivani sinha
    shivani sinha   Jul 21, 2017 11:57 PM

    Hi Dear,

    Friendshipis something which is not to be imposed but is to be felt. Speaking up very bluntly and frankly; that if your friends don't understand what or how you feel then it is not friendship. yes, it happens a lot when someone needs to be alone and stut all connections; and in my sense it is neccesary too, because once you shut outside connections then you connect to yourself.But yes, not for too long.

    Yes, you should too be carefull about your behaviour. If you feel to be left alone then tell your surrounding that thing in a proper manner and do not be rude to them while refusing to involve in any sort of activity. your way of speaking might hyrt them, so be humble and expalin them that why you don't want to be disturbed right now and just want some quality time with yourself. I am suree they will understand.

    Now coming to your this feeling; then you have to look out that, is this kind of feeling arrive frequently and also that is this stays for a long time period? If yes, then you need some sort of delightful advice. IF this come over and over again then just try out new things because  this living alone type of feeling arouse due to boredom. So, try out new things, meet new people, go some new places. 

    These all will hepl you even if these thoghts don't come regularly to uour mind.

    Have a nice day. Stay good and stay positive

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Jul 11, 2017 08:49 PM

    Hi!!

       Hope you are doing well.I can understand your plight situation.Being in lonely is better for sometimes,but if you feel often to be alone is just to be taken care.You may feel depressed sometimes and can think of shut off with all people.You may just stay calm and think about it for the reason of your loneliness.If you just feel lazy or some hesitation to avoid meeting people for sometimes,is not a big issue to be depressed.When your friends call you during that time,you can feel open with them if they understands about your mind set,else you can say some reasons like not feeling well or your parent's are avoiding you to go out these days.

    Hope it helps you  :)

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Jul 11, 2017 01:50 PM

    Hello there!

    Please knoe that solitary life is not at all bad if aintained uptil some point.It is absolutely normal to experience this feeling where you do not want socialize and want your me-time instead.Everybody is experiencing those sort of swings,once in a while.

    However,others might not always be able to understand our emotions well.Those who are extreme exroverts shall never understand the joy of loneliness.However,please feel free and right to not socialize.

    What is important is the way in which you tell your friends about your situation.They are also right on their part,they care for you so they ask you to hang out with them.So the next time,you can politely tell them you are feeling well or want your space instead of simply switching the phone off or cutting them off through othe ways.

    It is rational on your part,if such a behaviour happens rarely.If it occurs often,I do not intend to scare you but this might be an indication of something unhealthy.You can always introspect or talk to someone about it,maybe know why you want to anti-socialize so often.If things go out of hand or you are unable to control such urges please do not hesitate in consulting one of the experts here at the forum only.They shall provide with the best guidance and most suitable solution.

    Hope this helps!

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Jul 10, 2017 01:59 PM

    Hello there! How are you holding up? 

    Humans have always had this mindset where their behaviours have been controlled according to the norms and expectations of the society. A person is termed depressed or sad or a loner, if he/she wants to spend time alone. 

    Its tough for people to understand that solitary is important for development and growth. The time you spend on yourself, alone makes you think about your life, your problems, your future goals. Now is that not something important? 

    This doesn't imply that spending time with others is waste of time. It's equally important. You need to socialise in order to develop interpersonal skills. 

    However, it would be rude to say someone that you don't feel like meeting them. There is always a polite way of saying things. You can tell your friends that you would rather give this time on yourself and think about your life. 

    Its completely rational for you to want some time for your own self. You can go to a park or terrace to full more at ease. There is nothing wrong to dedicate few days on your self. 

    Happy solitary!