How can I deal with rejection?

09 Jul
Name Confidential

I have, in my life, experienced rejection more than once. Now, whenever i encounter a new opportunity, i see the results being bad. I've become so afraid of rejection, even though i have experienced it so much. Its like, everything i ever want hates me, so it rejects me. I can't help it. I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. What do I do? How do i deal with this?

Responses 8

  • Aishwarya K
    Aishwarya K   Jul 30, 2017 05:25 PM

    We worry because we want to control things and prevent bad things from happening. Our fear about the future is the major factor that drives us to worry. Our awareness of the amount of uncertainty in the world instills a fear within us of losing every that we have, and so we constantly worry about it. Some amount of worry can be beneficial because it helps us to avoid danger, however excessive worrying can interfere with our lives.

    Worrying leads us to believe that we are in control of the situation in some capacity. Some people even believe that worrying is part of the problem-solving process. This happens because when we worry about something bad happening but everything turns out well, we associate worrying with solving the problem. It’s a fundamental flaw in our belief system.

    I doubt the possibility of completely ending worry or anxiety because it is a part of human nature. Everyone has their own tiny problems and situations that make them worry. However, it is possible to cope with it better. According to existential philosophers, we should indulge in our anxiety and accept that it is inevitable. We face rejection at all points in life, so when we know that it is going to happen, we should not worry about the results and give our 100 percent in whatever we do.

  • Deepti Trika
    Deepti Trika   Jul 27, 2017 02:13 AM

    Hello, hope you are doing good.

    So, rejection is something we all have faced in our lives, not once but many times. Sometimes we are rejected because of our lack of skills, sometimes looks, sometimes, sometimes marks, sometimes this, sometimes that. This list is endless. 

    It is okay to face rejection. Rejection has always been a part of failures. It is very very normal. Do not be discouraged. Wheresoever you are, you have had many successes in life. Failures means that you have another opportunity. You always scope for improvement. 

    1- You should start concentrating on the positive aspects of your personality. If you have weaknesses, you have strengths too. Nature has balanced everything in it's own way. The point here is to find your strengths. Find the things you're naturally good at, the things in which you don't need to put so much efforts, which happen effortlessly.

    2- Do not let anyone feel you less in anyway. Very less people in world make you feel motivated. YOU need to keep yourself motivated. Do not let yourself be a victim of your circumstances. Maintain your dignity.

    3- Remember the fact that we all have trying phase. The beauty of that appreciation which you receive after so many rejections is an out of the world feeling. laughing

  • Mukul Arora
    Mukul Arora   Jul 24, 2017 12:08 AM

    Hello, 

    I understand how tiring it can be to be dissapointed again and again. It makes you lose hope. But you are not alone. I might not know that many famous people who have been through this but i know there people with who experienced it, a  lot of them including me. But you asked a way to tackle this . It proves that there is still some hope and you are not ready to give up yet and that is amazing. I do not know how old you are but still i can presume you are in your 20s. So let's apply  a little math here . You still have lot of years to live and experience the stuff you don't even know it exists. And to be honest ,I cannot predict your future but can say there is also the chance for dissapointments as well as success, be it in love life or career. It is unpredictable but what mostly will count is your strength to take a hit and stand back again and trust me if you can do that everytime you face something bad you have already won because you are capable of not giving up . You should appreciate yourself for that. We cannot blame ourselves everytime we face rejection because sometimes it is not mean to be but that just mean we are not in the right room . Next time open a next one and see for yourself if that works out. If not there are plenty of rooms and trust me atleast there always be 1 perfect room which is just for you. But for that you have to be brave and ready to explore . Once you've got will to not give up and strength to stand back up again and again you can find the reight thing for you. So starting I would advise you to introspect yourself and your life experiences and everytime you feel something pen it down right away that moemnt in a diary. Reach out to different things like meeting new people different activities , you will find a right place for you .I hope it helps and in case you require anymore help you can contact further. Thanks and good luck

  • shivani sinha
    shivani sinha   Jul 21, 2017 11:27 PM

    Hi.. just sit back and relax first. It's ok to be rejected, everyone face this thing and to know the fac t that you have been rejected, important is to find out that why you have been rejcted. Once you find out the reason then work on that thing and you will see self improvement and appriciation from others.

    Sometime, it's the luck thing i.e certain things are just not ment for you or may be it is not the right time for you to get it. So, do not worry. Think positive and envolve yourself in some of the activity which will boost up your confidence and will also enhance your personality. There are many personality developement classes in many cities, go and join them. It's nothing wrong in that and don't feel shameful to accept that. REMEMBER; everyone is not perfect, each one has some drawback and you should not make it your life's centre point. Focus on your strenght, identify it and enhance it. 

    Everyone is good at something; what you are good at find it. Throw away the negative thoughts and never ever say yourself that you are not good at anything. Try to meditate this will relax your mind and soul.

    Hope you will find your way out  and these sugesstions might help you.

     

  • Radhika Goel
    Radhika Goel   Jul 11, 2017 11:19 AM

    Hey, I went through something similar a while ago. Entering college puts a lot of pressure on a person. I had never been rejected this often and was quite good at everything in school. However, college was a different scenario where everyone was super talented and succesful. I got rejected many times in things I thought I was good at and it completely broke my self confidence. I was quite disheartened for the longest time and started losing interest in participation at all. But then I realised I cannot let few college events break me. i made a list of all my rejections and acceptances in the past year, however small and tried to see where the problem was. I tried to work in things I though I lacked and decided to push myself out of my comfort zone by telling myself that consequences will be dealt woth later. 

    Some psychological studies tell us that when we are prepared and skilled to at a particular task, anxiety enhances our performance. Whereas, if we are under prepared anxiety can make our performance worse. Thus, my suggestion to you is to prepare yourself and have the confidence of success and you will do well. 

    You must remember, no matter what the consequences it is better to have tried to know what you are really good at.

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Jul 10, 2017 01:55 PM

    Hey there!

    Hope you are doing well.

    Please know that everybody is good at one thing or the other so stop feel useless and unworthy,you are worth so much.It is just about realizing the right potential.

    It will be better to help you if you elaborate on the kind of situations you have been rejected in.That shall provide us a better insight.

    I would like to provide you with some measures that should help after implementation.

    1.Do not put yourself down.I know it is tough but keep reminding yourself that you are being rejected because something better is on it's way.

    2.Socialize- As much as you will meet new people,this inferiority will disappear because it takes 50 instances to meet the 50th person who was made for us thereby making the 49 rejections worthy.

    3.Travel or in fact move to a different place and adapt to a new lifestyle.Maybe the place you are trying at doesn't fir your calliber .

    4.Keep insight-

    Keep exploring yourself and never stop finding out things you like and dislike.This should hel you in understanding past rejections and assist in future endevours.

    5.If you still feel that there is no improvement,please do not hesitate in consulting one of the counsellors on the forum.They are the experts in their respective fields and shall surely guide you towards clarity.

    Hope this helps! Good luck

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Jul 10, 2017 01:51 PM

    Hello there! How are are you holding up? 

    I sense that your fear rejection and that you have been rejected multiple times for many things but does not mean you, as a person, are rejected. It's okay to not have certain skills to do a task as well as expected but please be proud of yourself that you tried and you probably would have learnt something or the other from that experience. 

    You say that you already see the results of certain things to turn out wrong for you even when they haven't started yet. That's called being pessimistic. You cannot achieve things unless you think you can. You need to be confident about your own self and the skills you posses. Your pessimist mind makes your mind think of negative things and as a result the universe act towards it (The law of attraction). 

    Stay calm. Take a paper and a pen. Think of the smallest of things that you have done correctly till now. It could be something like doing your laundry properly or driving. Humans don't appreciate these tasks because they don't consider it of importance nevertheless, they are important. Not everyone can do the things you can do easily. We are all unique. 

    Appreciate your uniqueness. Work towards things. If you see failing at things, then think critically about what you can do to make it a success. Pre plan things. 

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Jul 10, 2017 12:40 PM

    Hey there. 

    First of all, the secret to a better and healthier life is to stop thinking that you are not good enough. Rejection is part of life. And I know very well what it feels like to feel related, because guess what, everyone has been rejected in their life once or twice. Maybe, you may feel that the frequency of that happening with you is more, and hence giving you that fear. But I want you to know, that failure and rejection is a simple part of life. And it happens to the most successful people on earth.  

    You are good enough for yourself and the first step to get through this is to start appreciating yourself. Love yourself and you'll find that you are worthy of everything. If you are rejected today, then be sure that sooner or later, at a certain point in life, everything will be going in your favor. It's not your fault that people don't see the best things about you.   

    In order to deal with this, I would suggest you do things that make you feel better about yourself i.e.  things you are good at and makes you feel better. This could be anything, from painting to sports to cooking. If you feel you are good at it, then go ahead and do it, because when you are good at something, you will notice that things will be more in your favor and you will able to accept who you are, and sooner or later people will also accept who you are.

    If you are still finding difficulty in being content, then if you would like, you could visit a therapist and indulge in therapeutic methods that can benefit your personality. Remember that this phase of rejection will pass by sooner or later, you just have start being more of a positive person. Things will get better. I promise. 

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