Loss of a closed one

25 Jul
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

Hope you are doing well.

Last week,my father's uncle,the last man of the generation passed way. He had been paralyzed for more than an year. After experiencing feelings of grief,everybody felt a relief that he got rid of his suffering. He suffered a heart attack also,few months back when his wife passed away. I have been experiencing feelings of grief and turmoil,ever since. Life means taking birth and dying,one day. That is how the cycle works. What can we do to reduce the grief of the family and support them in such times? We ourselves are so shattered,how do we manage our stress and at the same time support the family?

Responses 9

  • Nimisha singh
    Nimisha singh   Aug 08, 2017 11:19 PM

    Hey there.

    How are you i hope you are. I can understand and relate to your situation as recently i lost a loved one. I fealt empty,guilty for not being there by her side when she needed me the most, I was not able to see her for the last time. After that fealt exhausted. I was sleepy but was not able to sleep. All i did was overthinking. I Wanted to run away for the reality.

    It took me sometime to normalise as i missed her badly. but later i realise that this is life everyone has to die one day or the other. But there is a motive in one life, everyone has purpose on this planet and one needs to achieve it. This is life and we have to keep it going. We need time to recover from such life events.

    What you can do is motivate and encourage others in our family by telling them that the deprted soul is there with us we may not see him/her physically but they are present in forms of blessings and memories. And so live our life for them, do something that makes your family proud. Our loved ones have sacrificed a lot for you and now its our responsibility to fullfill the purpose of our life and make them proud.

    every departed soul is present in our heart, we just need to realise this.

    I hope this helps. Take care, be strong.


    APOORVA PANDEY   Jul 30, 2017 10:38 PM


     In such times no matter how emotionally strong and resilient on is, people lose control over their emotions. One thing that a person needs at this time is strong emotional  and family support so that one does not feel aloof in such tough times. We must understand that everyone has their own unique way of handling such situations. If crying makes you feel better, well then that is your way of dealing with such situations. Since in this case, your family member was ailing , you may console yourself by the fact that this was the best way out for him to get rid of his endless pain and sufferings. Thinking in this way may help you to tackle these tough times.

    It is never easy to lose a loved one and stay calm . but at the same time we must realise that is an inevitable part of human life. Everyone has to face it. Be brave . Take care of yourself and your family members.


  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Jul 30, 2017 07:07 PM


    Really sorry for your loss.  I can understand that you are going through a very tough situation and it's hard to cope up with this thing. But you should accept the fact that DEATH IS THE ULTIMATE DESTINATION and everyone has to die who has ever started their life. You should look the positive side that the suffering of your uncle are over now and he must have led a beautiful life. But you have to be strong  and be positive. Don't let this loss brings negativity around you and your family.

    Keep yourself emotionally strong and go and talk to your family members. Sit with them and just listen to them. Listen to what kind of strong bond they had with your uncle. Stories of your uncle's life and let all their emotions get out and finally they will feel better.

    Always remember that its a matter of time and soon they will be fine. You have to keep yourself strong and bring positivity around you and your family. Seeing you strong will give strength to your family members also and eventually everything will be fine.

    Just don't let negativity bears the Seed.

    Be strong.

    I hope this will help.

  • Deepti Trika
    Deepti Trika   Jul 29, 2017 12:57 AM

    Hi Ayushi

    I am sorry to know about the loss of your loved one. I understand your situation pretty well because I am also going through the same. I lost my nani about 5 months ago.

    Yes, I am really very sad  and I miss her everyday and I have still not been able to digest the fact that she is not there. But the point is we cannot do anything about this situation. This is a cycle of life and we have no control over it.

    I will not say you will stop missing your uncle, but you will eventually learn to adjust without him. 


    In such situations it is really difficult to find a positive thing, but it is not impossible. I can share how I console myself.

    I lost my maternal grandfather 2 years before my  maternal grandmothe's death. Since then my grandmother forgot how to be happy. There wasn't a day when she did not cry because she missed him. She even lost a lot of weight.

    So now I console myself by telling myself that she is happy.. because now she is with the person whom she always wanted to be with, whom she loved very dearly. Her happiness is bigger for me than my sadness. And I guess so is for you smile

    I hope I could help you, even if that was little. :)

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Jul 26, 2017 07:34 PM


       Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your plight situation. Losing a family member who have been smiled with us and one day, without him we feel empty and sad. We miss them a lot. We don’t know about the value of the things until we lose them. Recently I have  also been experienced one of these kind of situations. I lost my uncle, and I felt really bad. I cried a lot and felt depressed and his death is unbelievable, As the day before his death he was smiling with us. And the next day..:(

       So, it’s a human nature. Later I realized about the destiny of human life. Everyone will exhaust one day. So, life is only once Be yourself and enjoy yourself. If you feel sad of your father’s uncle death, then you feel depressed and also frustrated of your life. So try to console your family members to relieve from the depression. Even you feel sad he is never going to back again. But everyone feels sad under this situation and it’s human nature. Try to relieve from that and make some efforts.

    Whatever happens life has to move on!!!

    Hope, it helps you

    Take Care :)

  • Radhika Goel
    Radhika Goel   Jul 26, 2017 01:30 AM

    I am extremely sorry for your loss. 

    The fact that your family recognises and realises that your uncle lived a happy and fulfilling life and his demise put an end to his year long suffering is evidence that they are grieving in the right way. You must allow your family to talk about his life, his adventures, and what they are going to miss about him. This will give them space to share their sorrow and know that they are not alone.

    The death of a loved one forces many of those near the dead to re-evaluate the way they are living their lives and the impact they have on others. It is important that people do not start believing in the meaninglessness of life and go down that negative road. If any member of your family starts wondering about these aspects, you should make extra efforts to help them. 

    Take care:)

  • Mukul Arora
    Mukul Arora   Jul 26, 2017 12:12 AM

    Hello Ayushi!

    I know many might recomment different ways to deal with grief but since you are from the field of mental health as well ,just think from that point of view . It is human behavior to be sad . Whether it is being happy,angry or sad . According to different circumstances we feel different  emotions and it is all natural .Just like you said death and birth is a cycle and so is happiness and sadness. It is natural to feel such emotions in a respective situation . But it is not healthy if any of these feelings get way out of control. If somebody is grieving about someone's death so much then in this case sadness has just become depression now. So instead of not even letting someone be sad the focus should be on a point to stop sadness not converted into depression. 
    Many religions teach not to be sad when your loved one dies. But since we are not spiritual leader we must be strong on point that the person is going to feel sad or even angry when somebody leaves them forever.And we all know the result of bottled up feelings. So i am not criticizing anyone else's view but  I think since human behaviour is what we deal with ,we must aqlso understand and respect it .

  • Sukanya Mitra
    Sukanya Mitra   Jul 25, 2017 10:38 PM


    I understand what are you going through.

    really sorry for your loss.

    it's really hard to accept the loss of near and dear ones. but death is natural. we all undergo a never ending cycle the cycle of birth and death as you said.

    for getting out of this grief and turmoil and also to support the family, first of all, you need to be strong. for that accept death is an inevitable factor. see, we are souls which run this body. the soul is indestructible.death is just changing of a costume. so that means he/she is not exactly leaving us. they are always with us in our heart. keep them alive in good memories. :)

    this video will help you.

    Be strong first and then go help your family. it is, of course, you who will help them to get through this difficult phase. :)

    I would suggest you go and talk with them. listen to them. let them vent all of the sorrow that they have held up. and you can do the same. you will see both of you will feel better. you must have " when you share happiness it doubles and when you share grief it halves." so go. and we are always there to listen. :)

    hope this answer helps you. glad you shared with us. :)

    take care...

  • Mehak Ahmed
    Mehak Ahmed   Jul 25, 2017 06:09 PM

    Hi Ayushi! Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss. I understand its a diffult time for you and your family. But however easy it may be in writing and however much difficult it is to put it into practice, but its time for you to stay strong emotionally. Think of it this way. Life and death is the truth of life, what matters is to live a good life and live happily, however long you live. Think about your uncle in terms of the kind of good life that he lived and be happy and contented about that fact. Think about how he's free from the pain that he was going through and his soul is at peace right now. Most importantly, realise that time heals everything and life goes on. You'll eventually get back to your normal life and this pain of his absence will be replaced by the sweet memories that you had spent with him.

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