helping a friends with family issues

06 Aug
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

My best friend belongs to a nuclear family. Her mom and dad fight a lot and things have gone so uch out of hand that they seperated for a while but re-united thinking about her. They fight often and the father is very selfish,he doesn't really care about the family.Uncle does not even have a good rapport with his siblings either,because of his nature whereas,aunty is very social and bubbly.How can I Hhelp her improve the situation?Her studies get affected by all this and she had to a take a drop this year. I ma afraid,things might not get better at home and she might fall into depression. She was living away from home so far and now has to put up with her family.

Responses 4

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 08, 2017 06:41 AM


       Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern.  And I really feel sorry about your friend. I can hereby suggest you something helpful.

    1. Help your friend to stay happy and comfortable when you are with her. So she may feel at least better and comfortable when you were there. Give her the assurance that whatever happens you will be there for her. It will make her strong to fight the problems in her life.
    2. Also, you can help her father to consult some psychiatrists or counselors. As he has the main responsibility to build up her life and also the whole family only believes in him.
    3. Nowadays counselors are also available through online and I strongly recommend eWellness Expert which is the best platform of online counselors who can resolve all kind of depression, stress, anxiety and all kind of relationship issues.

    Hope it helps you!!!

    Take Care :)

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Aug 07, 2017 07:08 PM

    Hey there!

    Family feuds are getting more and more common lately, and it is indeed something to be worried about. Parents fighting, and splitting is, in fact, the worst of the lot because it ruins the entire family. And kudos to you for trying to help out. 

    However, there are some things which are in our hand, while some which are not. As a friend, you can do the most important thing there is to be done. Keep her distracted. As it is, she is going through a lot and she needs a safer distraction. When it comes to studies, ask her to study along with you, in a library or some place else than at home. More important than this, ask her to regularly talk to her mom and dad separately. If she can, then try to get her parents to go for couples therapy. At least some safety improvement can be done with this. At least some improvement in the vibes they give out at home. She needs to be the mediator, and she can't do it alone. You can help by being her outside help, the friend she can run out to and pour her heart out with the problems she faces. Just be there to listen to her and that is one of the most important things to do. 

  • Taarika Ratnam
    Taarika Ratnam   Aug 07, 2017 05:46 PM


    This must be hard for her.  If her parents don't know what she is feeling then she can try talking to them. However if that doesn't help you should take her to a therpist as they have been trained to deal with these kind of issues. I think that you have done your best but if you are also getting affected by this situation a therapist will help because it will take some load of of you. Also just make sure that she knows that you are getting her help because of concern and with good intentions , however make it clear to her that you are still her friend and she can still talk to you. To help the therapist maybe she could start writing a diary of the thoughts that are running through her head.

    Both the therapist and her can come up with ways to deal with the home situation and her feelings around it effectively. For the time being you can ensure that she still has some fun, you could invite her home for sleep overs or both of you could get together and study.  On the whole she has to realise that the fighting is primarily between her parents and its their relationship and she can try not to get intertwined in it even though it may be hard. You could try talking to her to see how she feels every now and then. 


  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 07, 2017 03:01 PM

    Hey there! 

    I suggest that she talks to her parents separately first and then combined. She could talk about how their situation is affecting her and she is not able to focus on studies. She must ask them to get their issues together so it doesn't impact her so much. If she is willing to adjust then her parents must also be willing to do so. If anything then can atleast pretend to be like a healthy family when they are with her. 

    However, if her parents fail to do so, they must provide her with a PG or hostel so she stays away from all these distractions. It's not fair to her. She is getting affected because of her parents. She can also live with her other family members till her parents cope up with this situation. 

    As a friend, I suggest that you show her how you care about her and she will overcome this problem through her own strength. Be her pillar of support. 

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