grandparent's perspective

06 Aug
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

We all have experienced the shift towards nuclear families and the increasing intake in old age homes. It is so disappointing to see things going wrong to such an extent that people send their parents to old age home.They forget that these are the people who are solely responsible for their success and achievements.Had their parents not believed in them,they would not have been anything.Still,people prioritize living away from home and we all are familiar how the term 'putting up' is used for staying. It is a sorry state of affairs. Little do we realize the plight of those old people and how much stressed out and psychologically weak they had become due to being disowned. What can be the contributory factors?

Responses 5

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 08, 2017 10:22 PM


    Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern. And I truly agree with your statement. I think the reason is due to the various trending culture in this world. People feel shy and shame to take care of their old parent’s. As they should need to clean everything. If the parent  think the same when he is a child, today he will never become as this person. So we should think about the parent’s hard situation to bring us a perfect person for this society.

    Every parent plays a great role to bring up their child a perfect.  At least in this present generation children should learn and know about the value of their parent’s so we may have a better future.



    Hope, it helps you!!

    Take Care  :)


  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Aug 07, 2017 06:34 PM

    Hey there!

    Indeed, it is not a pretty sight to see. It is not pleasant to see our grandparents and old people go through when their children leave their side. As a result, they start building a wall, and become increasingly difficult to handle, because they feel abandoned. Sometimes people have to leave for genuine reasons. 

    Some people might have no other option but to leave them in old age homes because they have to go abroad for work reasons. True, most people might simply just never come back, and that sucks. But I know of quite a lot of people who take care of their parents even after they go distant. Then again, many think that by sending their parent's money, their duty is fulfilled. But money does not buy them happiness. It does not make them feel better emotionally because, during the last days of their life, they want to cherish it with their children, and at this point, they can't help but be dependent on their children.  

    Another reason is that children feel very pressured because they are trying to set their lives, and apart from that, in a more Indian context, children are expected to; be successful in their work, have a family at a relatively young age, and take care of their parents too. But the truth is, there are many non-traditional countries, these expectations are minimal. This allows their children to feel less pressured. This makes them tackle one thing at a time, and this over attachment is not there. In India, we think, "Oh I am already doing so much because of their pressure, and now I've to look after them also?" In this process, they pick out what is most convenient for them. Taking care of old people is expensive, because of the medicines and health care. So yeah obviously they will feel hassled. Which is unfair, but this is definitely one reason. Also, what about the super successful children? Why do they do it? Well maybe because they simply don't have the time. SO maybe out of concern only they send their parents to old age homes. 

    Either way, parents should bring up their children to learn to be more independent and self-reliant. Because when this happens they will understand the importance of their parents. What pampering and fulfilling their children's desires do is make the children think that it is their parent's duty to take everything they throw at them. Maybe this can improve things?

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 07, 2017 02:55 PM

    Hey there! 

    I agree that this state is extremely awful. It concern me too. We stop caring about the people who raised us, it's just sad and pathetic. We become cruel to them. We don't see things from their point of view, how much it hurts them. 

    The contributory factors could be increasing gap between parents and children. As the child grows old, they start getting se attached from their parents. It doesn't matter to them whether their parents are well or not. Other reasons could be being too self involved with your own self. We forget to take care of our parents becwause we are already handling too many things for ourself, our life and work is already hectic and we are preoccupied. Other reasons could be inculcating the habit of taking parents for granted. Parents who shower too much love on their child often mislead them into thinking that no matter what their child does, they will always love them. This propagates the idea to the child of being negligent towards the need she of parents. 

    Its very important that children maintain a healthy communication with their parents because they owe it to them. 

  • Taarika Ratnam
    Taarika Ratnam   Aug 07, 2017 02:38 PM

    There may be a number of contributory factors. For one old age homes are a relativley new concept. As you mentioned it can be said that modern society has an increasing number of nuclear families. Since there are an average ove two adults in an nulear family they may not have the time to take care of thier parents even if they do love them and respect them. As a result they may feel  that it is better to put them in an old age home as they may be given more attention their compared to at home.

    Also their respective needs may not be met if they stay at home. The child may not know how to take care of them if they have a particular illness. For example if a parent is ill and constantly needs tests then it doesnt make sense to keep them at home. Especially if a parent has a mental illness like alzheimers then it might be too mentally exhausting for a child to take care of them. Also the child may not like to see them like that. If there are children in the same household they might get scared. So the heads of the household take a lot of factor into consideration when moving their parents to an old age home. 

    Lastly just because they move their parents to an old age home doesnt mean that they dont go and spend time with them. This idea that we have to take care of our parents is something that we have all been conditioned to believe. As a result people can feel uncomfortable with the idea of  an old age home. However, in most cases i think that we should trust that the people who are responsible are doing what they think  is best in a particular situation.

  • Sanjna Verma
    Sanjna Verma   Aug 07, 2017 12:30 PM

    Hello! Yeah, it is actually prevalent these days. I think the major causal factor in such cases is the upbringing patterns. As it is seen that those children who have been pampered- wherein parents try and fulfill the needs of their children every time possible, especially when they give in to their obstinacy and tantrums. They do not realise what their parents are going through  and parents' expectations from their children. Perhaps these materialsitic aspirations continue till the time of adulthood and in pursuit of those things, they abandon their parents. They lose all sense of belongingness and respect from their parents and they leave them to old age homes so that they can continue with their jobs and live peacefully. This reminds me about a dialogue from the film Piku wherein Deepika Padukone states that at a certain age, one needs to keep their parents alive. It is unfortunate that today's generation is forgetting the values taught and the struggles their parents have gone though.

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