07 Aug
Reshma Venugopal

Hello, everyone. 

I wanted to know how one can live without hints of jealousy and hatred. Is that even a possible characteristic to have any more? I have noticed, that a lot of relationships have been affected because of jealousy. Especially in the field of relationships. Is it not a normal thing to feel, because I feel the same sometimes. When my friends constantly say they don't like a person but end up hanging out with them. I get jealous and I decide I don't want to associate with them. It bothers me for a while, and later I get annoyed at myself for reacting that way in the first place. How can I help but get over this feeling in the moment? 

Responses 7

  • Anjali Deshmukh
    Anjali Deshmukh   Aug 13, 2017 10:04 AM

    Hi. Good morning!

                                We humans are the only beings in this world who can emote all the emotions through our speech such as happiness, sorrow, jealousy, pain, frustration, love, hatred and so on. We are blessed with the power to emote, to express ourselves. Jealousy is also one among those emotions which we express. 

    This isn't a bad characteristic as it is inborn. Being jealous is very common among today's youngsters. As we have this stupid habit of comparing ourselves with others. In your case jealousy is bound to happen as you really care for your friends and you are attached to them. You get possessive and this leads to jealousy. It is absolutely normal only if it is within limit. Never let your jealousy turn into hatred for someone.                                       Give your friends the space to hang out with whoever they like and don't get insecure about it. Insecurity is another reason for jealousy to show up. Be happy that you have good friends and make them realize that you too are worth their friendship. If all the friends can understand this then there will be no space for jealousy. Hope this was helpful to you. Have a good day!

    APOORVA PANDEY   Aug 12, 2017 07:52 PM

    Well before I say anything about feelings of jealousy towards your friends in particular, we must understand that 'jealousy' in itself is a very negative emotion. So it naturally follows that be it your best friend or anyone else, jealousy shouldn't become your defining characteristic. Well, comparing oneself with others on one side and feeling jealous of them on the other, both these emotions apparently look similar but there is a subtle difference between the two. Comparing oneself with others entails the thinking ' If she could, why couldn't I?' Jealousy on the other end includes the kind of thinking' If I couldn't, how could she?'. The former inspires you to improve yourself. The latter causes you to think and act negatively towards others.Understand the difference.

    Jealousy, per se, reflects in your behaviour towards others. It is bound to have an adverse impact on your relations with others. More so, with your  best friend. Thus this feeling should be prevented from influencing our behaviour as much as possible. It's better to take inspiration from others and learn from them than being jealous of others. 

    May be th best way you get rid of such feelings is to try and become as successful as your friend. If that means doubling your efforts for the same, well then go ahead. Its human nature. No matter on how good terms are you with your friend, you cannot be genuinely haapy for her, unless you have the same achievements as her, you cannot truly rejoice on her successes. Just work on yourself , your jealousy will automatically vanish.

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 08, 2017 10:18 PM


    Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern. And I truly agree with your statement. People nowadays always talk about other person. It’s really a bad character of behavior. Also judging about a person behavior by the other people’s opinions is such a bad decision. We should judge a people about their attitude, behavior towards us. How they behave to us? And their  attitude. It should be judged.

    Also you should not take serious about your friend’s  experience in relationship issues. Don’t compare your life with other. It will just make you feel down, if you compare. Just move on in life with your same attitude and character.


    Hope, it helps you!!

    Take Care  :)




  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 08, 2017 04:54 PM

    Hey there! 

    To be honest, I am a very jealous person too! I get jealous of everything and everyone. It's been years now. But everytime I get jealous, I get upset. 

    What I have realised is that you need to accept that you are jealous. Once you have accepted it, you need to ask yourself why are you jealous. In your case, you are jealous because your friends hangout with people they said they don't like. Is that jealousy? Sometimes we don't understand the meaning of terms, we exchange it with others. What bothers you is pretence. Your friends lying about not liking a certain someone and then hanging out with them is hypocrisy. Maybe jealousy comes after you realise that they didn't choose you but them. Now think of reasons as to why they chose them? You can even go and confront the person to know better. It's no point sitting and assuming things. Asking them directly will give you clarity. Next you need to work on what you lack. 

    Jealousy acts as a motivation drive. It makes us want to be more than what we are. If you are jealous of a person having more friends than you, you can always incorporate skills of being more friendly to have more friends. Just don't sit there and be jealous, do something about it and push yourself to be better. 

  • Anushree Nandi
    Anushree Nandi   Aug 08, 2017 10:19 AM


    Jealousy and anger are emotional reactions to believing scenarios in your mind that are not true. By changing what you believe you change what your imagination is projecting and you can eliminate these destructive emotional reactions.Even when there is justification for the reaction, jealousy and anger are not beneficial ways to deal with the situation and get what we want.
    1) Recovering personal power so that you can get control of your emotions and refrain from the reactive behavior. 
    2) Shift your point of view so that you can step back from the story in your mind. This will give you a gap of time in which to refrain from a jealous or angry reaction and do something else. 
    3) Identify the core beliefs that trigger the emotional reaction. 
    4) Become aware that the beliefs in your mind are not true. This is different than “knowing” intellectually that the stories are not true. 
    5) Develop control over your attention so you can consciously choose what story plays in your mind and what emotions you feel.

    There are a number of elements that create the dynamic of jealousy.As such, effective solutions will have to address multiple elements of beliefs, point of view, emotions, and personal will power. If you miss one or more of these elements you leave the door open for those destructive emotions and behaviors to return.

  • Ayushi Jolly
    Ayushi Jolly   Aug 07, 2017 11:50 PM

    Hey there!

    Hope you are doing well.

    I appreciate how you came up with such a problem and intend to improve on it. You know,actually the effort brings you halfway through.

    Jealousy is a very natural and common negative feeling that can affect us badly and can do misery to a person.If you feel it sometimes,then it normal and nothing to be afraid of.All humans are not meant for perfection and we all have flaws.It is the insecurity that gives rise to jealousy and leads to envy at times.However,it is always beneficial to control things at initial stages so that the harm is least and controllable.

    I would like to suggest some measures that can be helpful in dealing with jealousy-

    1.Try to keep calm.Take deep breathes.

    2.Try to understand things from other's perspective as well.

    3.Recall instances when people choose you over others.This shall help you overcome your insecurity.

    4.Try to avoid negativity and ear-filling,if someone is trying to tell you something,overhear it.

    5.Understand that people have different opinions for everything that exists.So if someone does not like a person,they might have their opinions and you do not have compile to it,neither do they have to,to yours.Do not  a third person affect your bond.

    Hope this helps!

  • Rasi M Sethia
    Rasi M Sethia   Aug 07, 2017 10:15 PM


    I would like to say that emotions like jealousy, possessivenes, hatred, love, empathy, sadness, happiness, etc are present in all human beings. It's normal to have these. None of the emotions is bad or good. All are good if within the limits and all are bad if they exceed the limit. Similarly feeling jealous is fine until it increases to such an extent that it hurts you and others. We feel jealous and possessive for only those people who we love and care about  and can't afford to lose them. These people are very important to us in our life. You feel jealous when your friends hang out with someone else because you don't want to lose them. There is a fear in you that if they keep hanging out with others, they will slowly forget you and you will be alone. You are being possessive of your group just like a small child is possessive of his toys and games. You don't want to share them with others. If you mean something to them, they will never forget you even if they hang out with someone else for a while. They will definitely take out time for you. You can even go with them and hang with the people they hang out with. This way you will make new friends too.

    I would say don't be worried about your jealousy issue. Just make sure that it doesn't increases so that it lead to an outburst of emotions which will hurt you and your friends. You have to understand that if someone belongs to a particular friend group, it doesn't mean that he or she cannot talk or hang out with other people. Their socialisation is not limited within the group. 

    Stay happy and peaceful :)

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