how to overcome past

08 Aug
Ayushi Jolly

Hello everyone!

We all have experienced instances when we tend to crib over our past and what ifs.Recently,I had to choose among the colleges I got through but now that I have finally shifted and settled,I see other people going to other places and then I start comparing things and get lost in wondering what if I had gone elsewhere,had life been better? Have I made a mistake? and so on. In all this, I am unable to take life as it is coming,neither am I able to live or enjoy the present.I know what is gone is gone and must be forgotten but this time I am finding it hard to stop comparing and stick to my decisions.

Please help!

Responses 7

  • Priya Parwani
    Priya Parwani   Aug 13, 2017 10:00 PM


    Hope you are doing good. I can completely relate to your situation because even I am not always sure about my decisions. And this thing happens to so many people, they are unsure about their decisions until it is made. It's in our nature that we want the best in everything that's why we overthink our each and every decision but we should realise that making our decision successful depends on our attitude towards it and our hardwork towards our decision.

    You should stop comparing your life to others because it not something good because in the end you will be sad. Always believe in yourself and try to make your decision successful by working hard towards it and being positive towards it. Have faith in yourself and remember that whatever have you choosen for yourself will ultimately work in favour of you. Just be strong and keep focussing on your life and you will be successful.

    Hope this will help.



  • Anjali Deshmukh
    Anjali Deshmukh   Aug 13, 2017 09:24 AM

    Hello Ayushi!

                      Congratulations in getting through a good college. Hope you are having a good time in your college. Now coming back to what if's. Before starting I would say that even i had gone through a similiar what if question, when I joined my college and my school mates were in different colleges. Initially i was caught up with past memories and felt that I should have joined the college where my friends were studying. In my case I missed my friends but in your case it is about being in a better college. But you know what Ayushi all this what if's zeroes down to nothing but anxiety and confusion. You have chosen your college and that's your destiny for the rest of your degree. No one can change it. 

                                                                     Try to come out of this unending cofusions and see what you have today. You have a good college, defintely bunch of friends to hang out with and may be a new place to explore. Don't miss your present for your what if's. You have control only on TODAY. Just make the best out of it and things will be great. Stick to your decisions. Dont bother whether this decision will be good or bad as this is what you have wanted. Listen to your heart and do what you want to do with your life in this moment.

     Life is too short to regret. So don't waste your precious time and live your life to the fullest!!! Hope this will help you :)

  • Anushree Nandi
    Anushree Nandi   Aug 10, 2017 10:18 AM


    What has happened has already happened. There is nothing anyone can do to go back in time and change it.

    For this reason, the only viable option is to accept it. Leave the past in the past, and focus instead on where you are now: the present. Find the joy in the people and activities that are in your life currently.

    Just because you accept the past, doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it. Putting on a fake front or bottling up your true feelings will only exacerbate the issue.

    It is one hundred percent okay to feel hurt, discouraged, angry, confused, or anything else. Take the time to acknowledge and feel your emotions without judgement. This is how they can eventually move on.

    Our perceptions are built around the stories we tell ourselves in an attempt to make sense of the world.

    If I constantly think, “People leave me,” or “I am unlovable,” then that will be my perception. However, it doesn’t make it true.

  • Shanmugi B.P
    Shanmugi B.P   Aug 09, 2017 09:38 PM


    Hope you are doing well. I can clearly understand about your concern. People will never know about the value of something until we lose it. If you start comparing your life, then you will lose everything in your life. Also comparing your life will make you feel down. As you mentioned in the post, like lack of your happiness to enjoy the present and thinking as made a mistake. So, try to avoid comparing your life. Past is past we can never do anything to change it. So, try to accept the present.

      You can do something in the field you have chosen. So you feel more interested of making up the things right. Try to surround yourself with optimistic people, so you feel motivated and energetic.

     Hope, it helps you!!

    Take Care  :)

  • Reshma Venugopal
    Reshma Venugopal   Aug 09, 2017 12:57 PM


    You are always going to feel this, if you just let yourself. I have been through a similar situation when i did not get into my dream college, and had to settle for something that was not even in my list of colleges. But it happened, and it has been a change, but i think it has been an experience that has taught me plenty. So do i think about what "if" I had gone somewhere else? Should I have waited? Yeah, I think about this everytime, and it is inevitable. 

    But of course, the way to maybe ease the feeling is by thinking positively about the future prospects. Whatever happens, happens for a reason. You chose this college instead of another has happened because you made a decision, and you need to stick to it. Be firm with your decision. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side, and maybe you will never be satisfied with what you have. But for that, you need to change your thinking. Be more positive. Set your priorities right, find happiness in the smaller things in life. Make your life enjoyable with what you have; use your resources to make the most of your current situation, and you will find yourself thinking different. 

    hope this helps. 

  • Shubhanshi Singh
    Shubhanshi Singh   Aug 09, 2017 08:29 AM

    Hey there! 

    We tend to overthink all our decisions, it's not a very healthy habit. What's done is done. If you continuously doubt your decision, it's obvious that it will reflect in your behaviour and have consequences. It's because you compare your decision about choosing the college, you might lose confidence in college. As a result, you might regret this decision later. 

    It's okay to compare few decisions so you can improvise and change decisions but inculcating it as a habit just causes stress. 

    Go with the flow. Believe in your instinctual decisions. If things don't work out well later, maybe then you can think of ways to resolve it but starting with doubting your decisions will only make things worse. 

    In the case of college, it's the education that matters. I am sure the college you are in will provide you as much educational help as you need, it's you who has to stay focussed no matter in which college you go to. A good college doesn't guarantee anything. It's hardwork and dedication that counts. 

  • Minaish Dhabhar
    Minaish Dhabhar   Aug 08, 2017 10:30 PM

    Hi Ayushi,

    First of all, good luck for thhe next few years of college.

    Now, I understand your situation. In fact, it isn't just about colleges. Sometimes, we overthink our past choices so much that we really start to doubt every decision we make and are yet to make - and there goes our decision-making skill, out the window! 

    I too have trouble making decisions because of this, and my psychology teacher noticed this and made me realise that there is no guarantee that the decisions we could've made would have turned out well. What if we made the wrong decision, we usually ask ourselves? But what if we made the right decision? Then, we're too busy doubting it to let it grow to it's full potential.

    We  make decisions almost everyday. Some easy, some difficult. But we'll never really be able to fully weigh the options against each other and compare them, before making a decision. Which is why, a general rule of thumb to help you stop feeling this way is to tell yourself that the consequences of those decisions would have probably not been the best for you, and that it's a good thing you chose them - and you're not lying to yourself, that's very likely to be true.

    Take care, Ayushi. I know you've just begun college, but you'll soon realise that it was the right decision.


Book an appointment