Love is one of the most beautiful human experiences. My story of love was fairly typical. She was someone I met in college. With some hesitation, I approached her, but soon, we were friends, and then in a relationship.
There were the usual obstructions of career and family, but we glided through all that, to a marriage in our late 20s. Slowly, the monotony of daily life and the pressure of work crept in.
We no longer had the novelty of a new relationship, nor the goals like ‘convincing parents’. We were done with all that, and now it was just the two of us.
That’s what’s wrong, we thought. We should have a child. We did, we had two children. For a while, we got busy with them, but then later, that too became routine.
The odd thing was that we hardly ever fought. We had just fallen out of excitement and intimacy for each other. I longed for those days in our youth when we just couldn’t wait to see each other.
Now, we had hardly anything to say. I was getting tempted by other, younger women in the office.
Many of my male friends told me this is normal and that I should take a ‘chance’ when I can. I could have gotten away with it had I wanted to. But I believed in our love and wanted to figure a way out.
I went to a counselor. She explained to me how the roles of mother, wife and office-goer put so much stress on my wife that she hardly had any energy left for me. She said we did not have fights simply because she did not have the energy to express her anger and disappointment in me.
I was shocked. When had I become like every other typical man? I was resolved to make things better. I started participating at home, and also took equal part in upbringing the children.
I bought my wife too and we underwent couples’ therapy for better communication skills. Things were much nicer now, but one thing was still lacking: excitement. We decided that the dream we had of travelling is what would unite us again.
We made a plan of budgets and started ticking of destinations one by one: first the Indian ones and then foreign countries. On some of these trips we took the children, and on the rest, it was just the two of us. And that’s how we rekindled the fire.