Total 47 Stories

  • 20 Feb
    Oyindrila Basu

    Preeti Shenoy-A Moment of Depression cannot be the end of a long life.

    preeti shenoy

     

    “What I am today is only because of my dad. I shared an amazing relationship with my dad…….. On 7th of September 2006, I got a phone call, that my dad had passed away. I went into severe depression after this incident. It was a complete shock. I hardly smiled; I could hardly speak to people, and I was in zombie-like state ……………….. I suddenly felt that I was all alone," Preeti Shenot on TED x.

     

    Depression is a state of denial. A person in depression finds life meaningless and lacks any significant objective for survival.

     

    This can be fatal, and Preeti Shenoy, Indian writer and artist, has been through this gruesome phase after the death of her beloved father.

     

    When a person who means so much for us has suddenly gone, it can leave us in a state of shock. It is not that the person is hurt, so he/she is trying to dramatize the situation, but it actually affects the mind in a deep and dangerous way. Depression can come following such misfortune incidents in life.

     

    If the deceased person had been the source of inspiration and motivation for you, then the loss is often unacceptable, and a part of you actually dies, because a part of him was there in you (his ideas and ideologies were infused in you), and with the death of that person, that part also dies and so you feel there is no need for you to live anymore, so intricate, can be the psychic connection between two people.

     

    But as the showman Raj Kapoor ji had said, yeh duniya ek circus hai, aur hum sab usme joker hain, jiski dor upal wale ke haath mein hoti hai……………..The show must go on”, almost reiterating the lines of Shakespeare that all the world’s a stage, and we are mere actors.

    Preeti Shenoy

    Preeti Shenoy strongly followed this ideology, and found motivation in literature and art when she was going through her worst days.

     

    When she needed someone to talk, she had no friends, her husband and children were supportive, but crying all the time in front of them, could agitate them, and perhaps they would soon go into depression, as these emotions are quite contagious, so she decided to vent out her grievances in her writings. She started blogging.

    Image source

     

    Hence, the few of her early works are pieces of narration, which are related to her own life incidents and these were assembled and combined into her first book. When she started engaging in work, her passion for art and literature became the motivation for leading a good life.

     

    Her second book is now considered a must-read i.e. “Life is What You Make It," where she speaks about an ambitious lively girl Ankita, who has everything but is struck by the hard claws of life.

    This book is a fictional encyclopaedia on bipolar disorder and the ways you can cope with it.

    Her latest book is "Why we love the way we do" is the simplest book on relationships, and ways to make it better. 

    This is the speciality of Shenoy. She uses her life experiences to delve deep into the psyche of her central characters, but finally comes out with a reviving solution at the end of the book, to inspire and rejuvenate the youngsters of the nation, who may be suffering from similar problems.

     

    Her life story is an inspiration for all of us. How a mediocre girl realizes her abilities and strives harder and harder towards an exceptional achievement needs to be learnt from her. Besides writing and painting she is an ex-basketball player too, and in the video for TEDx she describes her days of hardship in school and college, when she struggled to practice more and more to pursue her passion that is basketball.

     

    Today, she paints surreal art, photographs and writes great books, which are an asset to the society, for she believes “Save a life--it costs you nothing.”

    When she comes to know about people in the world suffering from depression and mental illness, she feels she has a duty, and by sharing her motivational ideas through her blogs and books, she believes she can be a helping hand to many, who are looking for one word of condolence, of support, so that they do not feel that they are alone in the situation, and Preeti truly succeeds in her purpose.

    Today, her speeches get some of the highest views on You Tube.

    It is great to see, how an ordinary girl puts herself into the process of growing using hardships and depression as an experience, to make her stronger as a human being, and the popular face she is in the field of Indian Literature and in media, is completely different from what she has been in 2006.

    Her lucid style of narration not only explains the anxieties of Ankita very well, but also all other characters which have or had a problem, as herself, and with fluidity of language, she very conveniently discusses upon a solution which may be actually a complex thing.

     

    So do not ever be limited by your set-backs in life. Life is not a bed of roses, and misfortunes will come and go, but the revival for survival is important. Grow your strength from your experience and emerge as a stronger human being. Never stop appreciating life, which is the most important thing.

    Always think with positivity, that you can achieve something big, and this goal will help you move forward with an objective.

    References 1 2 3 4 5

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  • 19 Feb
    Oyindrila Basu

    Muniba Mazari-A live and charming inspiration

    Muniba Mazari

     

     “I can undoubtedly admit that I am caged by my body, but my mind is free, so is my spirit and soul. I can still dream big”, Muniba Mazari.

    The ‘Iron-lady’ of Pakistan, is currently living a peaceful and happy life with 3-year-old son, with a flourishing career in arts and social activities, but the 7-years long fight was not an easy journey.

    The 28-year old lady, had met with a car crash, when she was just 21, and was beginning to bloom, but the beautiful woman did not let the setback bar her growing up, though her height has technically come to a standstill after the incident.

     The way I narrated it, doesn’t portray even half of the adversity that the brave young lady has been through. But I prefer to do it that way, since Muniba herself defends the whole accident just as a casualty and matter of fact event, such is the high spirit of brave Muniba.

     

    “Six and a half years back I made a car accident. I was travelling from Baluchistan to my hometown Rahim Yar Khan. The driver slept and the car fell in the ditch. As a result of that incident I sustained multiple injuries. The list is a bit long so don’t get scared.

    Radius ulna of right arm was fractured; shoulder bone and collar bone were fractured; lungs and lever were badly injured; the whole rib cage was fractured but the injury that change my life and my personality completely was the spinal cord injury. Three vertebras of my backbone were completely crushed. It took us an hour or so to take an ambulance in Baluchistan. All the effort went in vein because we could not find an ambulance. So I was thrown in the back of a potohar jeep. And I was rushed to the nearby hospital. In that jeep I realized that half of the body was fractured and half was paralyzed.

    We were rushed to the nearby hospital, we came to know that there was no first aid, I was kicked out than I went to another hospital in my hometown where doctor said take her away we cannot operate her. And I was like “why”? And they were like we do not have equipment she will die some day you go. I was kicked out again. But I finally entered in a comparatively better hospital in Karachi. Luckily, I was not kicked out probably that’s why I am alive. So I stayed in that hospital for two and a half months,

    I underwent three major two minor surgeries. The doctors have put a lot of metal in my arms a lot of metal in my backbone, so I feel more like an iron lady now. But those two and a half months that I spent in the hospital were dreadful. I was in swear pain both physically and psychologically. Many people left, very close ones. The ones who were supposed to stay with me were the ones who left me when I needed them the most. I was devastated. Life was completely pointless, aimless, and colorless. I was tired of wearing white scrub looking at the white walls doing nothing sitting idle.

    I really did not want to live. But then I realized that instead of crying for the people who were not meant to be with me and for the legs which I have lost. I have people around me who want to see me alive. I have so much to be great full for, so let’s stop cribbing stop vining because it is pointless. The best decision that I took in my entire life was the painting that I made in the hospital with the crippled hand. That’s how I added color in my colorless life. That’s how this adversity held me and exploring and artisting me, that’s how this art kept me alive through this whole journey.

    Then I was moved to Islamabad. I stayed in my room on the bed confined for two years. Because I developed multiple pressure ulcers and a variety of infections and allergies. Now this whole traumatic journey of two years and two and a half months being bed ridden and doing nothing, the only thing that kept me alive was art. What a beautiful medium art is that without uttering a single word you express yourself, what a great escape it was? But the day I was sat on the wheel chair for the first time, I was a completely different person. I still remember that I looked myself in the mirror, and I said you cannot wait for a miracle to come and make you walk. You cannot wait for samsuled treatment because it is very expensive, you cannot wait and sit in the corner of the room and crying and begging for mercy because people do not have time.

    So the only thing that I can do was to accept myself the way I was the sooner the better, that’s what I did. I really wanted to make myself financially strong, let’s become professional. I started to find some jobs. A very good friend of mine found a status, we want content writers, I like it I comment I wish I could. I was called for that interview and I was hired as one of the content writers for Pakistan’s first official website, heartofasia.pk. Salman Taseer was like the CEO. That’s how I started my professional career. So I was becoming financially strong, stable, content writing was good. I was constantly exhibiting my work in different galleries, I was flourishing as an artist. Life was easy but I was not happy; I was not contended because I was constantly aiming high, I was thinking big. I did not know what how I am going to do, but I knew that I want to do something big for people for the country," Muniba herself narrates her story.

     

    Muniba Mazari 

    But the injury that turned her life upside down, was the multiple fractures in her vertebral column such that right at the time of going to the hospital, she realized that half of her body was fractured and half of her body paralyzed, yes her body was numbed, but her soul was not.

     

    From the state of feeling frustrated and wishing to give up life, the brave lady emerged as a fighter, and uses her disability as her strength.

    Her wheelchair drove through a pathway which is marked with glorious achievements.

    She used her will power to find the light of hope even in the blackest darkness.

    She used art to rejuvenate herself during her hospital days, and used her abstract paintings to fill colour into her gloomy days.

    “Art was an escape for me”, says Muniba.

    When she was brought home, life was not any easier.

    She was bed ridden most of the times, her loved ones had left her, but she did not want anyone to sympathize, she wanted to be on her own, she wanted to tell the world that she was happy the way she was.

     

    When she actually faced the society, and realized how society objectifies disability as never-to be cured shortcoming, she felt brutally miserable, and wanted to do something.

    So she joined various campaigns to help the disable rise in society, take part in the economy, and let the society know that people with disabilities are not objects of sympathy, but they are humans and they breathe like everyone else does.

    She now smelt success, once she was working for a social cause, besides being a content writer.

     

    She is Pakistan’s first ‘wheel-chair bound model’ after she has been ambassador to the brand TONI & GUY, and soon she is to be the first ‘wheel-chair-bound’ TV host, and she is not remorseful of her situation.

    She loves the attention she is getting from society, from a media, and she enjoys every moment by converting her misery into advantage.

      

    Very truly said by Mazari, “the wheelchair cannot be an excuse for not doing anything……… be grateful for what you have, and trust me, you will end up having more……… learn the art of converting your adversities into opportunities, so be happy, be grateful, be alive and don’t let anyone ‘dis’ your abilities.”

     References: 1 2 3 4 5

      

     

     

     

  • 10 Aug
    Pooja Sarkar

    Is anxiety killing you for more profit in business

    anxiety and men

    After completion of my higher studies, I went to a new city for further education. There were lots of changes I have ever faced in my life. One of my cousins used to stay there for his work purpose. He stayed for many years there, so he had helped me to understand the city well. My cousin used to work there as a TL in one of renowned IT companies. Most of the time he was busy on phone and I noticed he has become quite aggressive during words with someone on phone.

      He even used to start smoking very frequently. One day I asked him if he was facing some problems. He never denied to share his problems with me. That day I had to listen to him carefully to know his situation in a better way. I found that it was an intense problem regarding his performance in office.

    He wanted to hold his position with respect and wanted to go for further development in career, but he was facing lots of problems in the office environment, he couldn’t handle those things anymore. He has also complained for inadequacy or sleep disturbances. He was stressed all over. As per his self evaluation, his performance was falling down day by day due to the stress factor.

    I was thinking of his words, I tried to put myself in his situation, how I would feel then? Working people spend most of their time in their office and the office usually becomes their second home. Home should be like the most secure place for everyone. One who gets trouble at work environment, it will be stressful for him/her. So the very next day I sent a mail to my brother by giving him some tips to get rid of his anxiety.

    A recent survey by the American Psychiatric Association and Harris interactive found Millennials to be the most stressed generation in the US. Furthermore, they are being diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders more than any other generation.

    Here are some tips for you to stay healthy:

    Feel your breath and live: Your body is the only place where you should live in. So feel your breath regularly by doing exercises and start your day by telling yourself that you will do the best.

    Create your rules: Once you create your rules you don’t need to spend your time think what should you do next. If you decide to do work till 7pm, no one can change this rule. Once you write these rules in your mind, you don’t need to get worried about small issues.

    Live organized: Arrange your priorities and the goals, which you want to work with. Allow you to take control of your mind.

    Live in present: Understand your past, how it has affected your present. Work on the present life for betterment.

    Live graceful: Practice forgiveness and work to achieve peace within yourself.

    Not worry about the tough time: If you have a goal to reach, hurdles will come on the way, don’t over think about these hard times, it will be a right way to achieve your goal.

    Not making your goal a priority: You have to decide what kind of priority you will give to your goal, else you will get lost among all your other activities.

    Don’t give up before you see the result: Impatience is the enemy of the change. If you don’t get result it doesn’t mean your efforts are wasted.

    Mindfulness: You have to concentrate on your work properly, tell yourself at morning what you should do today, and at the end of the day, check it, how you did correctly.

    Control your emotions: Learn to accept and value emotions at work. We can’t prevent emotions rather we should accept them. Try to assess the situation and judge what is going wrong in this situation.

    It will help you to deal with your daily life stress. Don’t run to get success, keep patience with yourself, you will definitely win one day.

    Image source

    Responses 1

  • 14 Oct
    Cecelia Johnson

    Attitude Adjustment: Survivors Talk About New Outlook on Life

    attitude

    I truly believe that life is what you make it and that it’s important to take things in stride. How we react to a situation can affect the outcome in numerous ways, and a positive outlook can help smooth the bumps. This is not easy for everyone, particularly those suffering from substance abuse.

     

    I often hear from recovering addicts about learning to shake off life’s minor irritants and appreciate the small things. Through treatment and therapy, they gain new perspectives. When they re-enter the “real world” these skills are quickly put to test.

     

    Recently I spoke with several addiction treatment graduates about new practices they apply through life’s ups and downs. It was so uplifting to hear their stories.

     

    Change The Reaction, Change The Outcome

    Wendy explained to me that she has learnt how to change her reaction. As a side note, Wendy now works as a recovery coach for Addiction Campuses, the organization that helped her battle her addiction at their Mississippi location, Turning Point Recovery.

     

    She told me, “It’s very rare that I’m in a bad mood now, because I’ve learned how to turn my bad mood around. Here’s an example: I came home from work one day recently and had groceries in the car, and [my fiancé] wasn’t out there to help me bring them in. I was a little pissed at first, but then I sat in my car for a few minutes and thought, ‘Really? Is this something to be mad about?’

     

    “Now instead of letting myself be overwhelmed by negative thoughts, things just disappear. Things aren’t as bad as we make them. We tend to make huge deals of things that are really just tiny specks on the spectrum.”

     

    And Ryan, who recently celebrated one year of sobriety, told me that he too has learned how to turn things around. He said he realized the negativity wasn’t helping the situation and only exacerbated it.

     

    Ryan offered words of encouragement to others:

     

    “It’s all the little details that can give you that positive outlook, and think about it: You can go through your day angry and not be positive — but what is that going to accomplish for you? It’s not going to accomplish anything. When you get a better outlook on things, you think about what you do have instead of what you don’t have. Don’t think about the stuff that you messed up; think about how much time you have to change your life,” he said.

     

    Mindfulness Makes a Difference

    Learning to change your perspective takes practice, but once you get the hang of it, then it becomes second nature. Scott told me he has learnt to listen first before reacting and saying his part. He said Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is what taught him to be mindful in difficult situations.

     

    Scott also told me he has a short fuse, so learning new interpersonal skills is a huge step.

     

    “DBT teaches you how to look at and react to things differently. I was the kind of guy that had the ‘I’m always right, you’re always wrong’ attitude, and I didn’t listen to others. I don’t do that anymore. Now I listen first and then I say my side, where in the past I just immediately thought, ‘I’m right, you’re wrong, and I don’t need to pay attention to what you have to say,’” Scott explained.

     

    It’s evident that these brave people have seen improvements in the quality of their lives. Their new behavioural skills will serve them well as they continue their paths to recovery. I wish them peace on their journey, and believe anyone else who is struggling with an addiction can find the same happiness, that they have.

    Image source

    Responses 1

    • Lawrence Klein
      Lawrence Klein   Nov 25, 2016 04:26 AM

      “If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it.” said 19th Century physicist Lord Kelvin:
      Inna Khazan, PhD Clinical Psychologist Instructor of Psychology, Harvard Medical School wrote this excellent book: "The Clinical Handbook of Biofeedback: A Step-by-Step Guide for Training and Practice with Mindfulness"  A practical guide to the clinical use of biofeedback, integrating powerful mindfulness techniques.

      *  A definitive desk reference for the use of peripheral biofeedback techniques in psychotherapeutic settings, backed by a wealth of clinical research

      *  Introduces mindfulness and acceptance techniques and shows how these methods can be incorporated into biofeedback practice

      *  Step-by-step instructions provide everything a clinician needs to integrate biofeedback and mindfulness including protocols, exemplar logs for tracking symptoms, and sample scripts for mindfulness exercises

      *  Includes scientifically robust treatment protocols for a range of common problems including headaches, hypertension and chronic pain

       James Harrington said: “Measurement is the first step that leads to control and eventually to improvement. If you can’t measure something, you can’t understand it. If you can’t understand it, you can’t control it. If you can’t control it, you can’t improve it.”. http://bit.ly/1axuHOv

  • 01 Jan
    Shiva Raman Pandey

    Diary of a teen mom

    Diary of a teen mom

     

    Today is the second birthday of my son Samar. When I go to my part-time college classes, people can hardly guess that I am a mother. It feels strangely weird. I am glad that people can’t guess but I also feel robbed of my identity.

    Its been almost two years since that horrible day when Akhil broke up with me. We had been having a relationship for a while, and recently he had asked me to get physical. I do not blame any of us at all. The intimacy was good and it bought us closer. However, I did not know much about birth control options and he would use the condom on and off, assuring me that he was mindful of my period cycle and planning it accordingly and that nothing would happen.

    But it did. I missed my period. In India, it is so difficult to get a non-judgemental gynaecologist. I remember how that test came positive, following which I went to the doctor and she gave me a moral lecture. How do these doctors forget that the male partner is equally responsible? They put it so easily on women. If we had been educated of birth control options instead of all the moralizing, I would have been better off.

    I told Akhil and of course, like the typical Indian man, he walked off. I was beyond myself with tears. I remember my sleepless nights. Finally, my mom asked me what the matter was, and not able to keep it inside me anymore, I told her all of it. She was shocked, but she thought quickly on her feet. The useless doctor I went to did not even tell me about abortion options and the two months had already passed. My mom immediately took me to our Shimla hill house, and I stayed there till my delivery. We submitted an ill-health application in my bill and extended my admission.

    The toughest part was Dad. He never really looked me the same. My mom understood it would be tough to change his mind, so she just got me a rented apartment and visited me often. I thought initially that I may hate the child for all the consequences I am facing, but one look at Samar and all my anger would fade away. He is the joy of my life. Soon he will start going to school, mom and son both will study, I think, and smile.

    I think sometimes of the hypocritical society India is. We want girls to get married at 16 and 18 and have children, but look at the attitude people have towards me and my child. Just because once silly contract and one man is missing (who would have gobbled up tons of dowry, no doubt). I have decided, I am not going to define myself through societal standards. I love my son and we will live life for and with each other. I don’t care for anyone who may look at my child with anything less than affection.