• 12 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    'Ki & Ka' Have Equal Roles In Making Up A Good Home, A Good Relationship And A Good Society.

    ki and ka arjun kapoor



    I begin my argument with reference to the above article which I was going through today. I have been reading through the comments below, and I really feel that each of them is telling the truth. The article I don't think intends to humiliate women who are good cooks, however, consequentially it does so. In today's era, we cannot write with one-biased attitude. A glorification of an office-going women as against a cook in the kitchen, will no longer be considered highly feminist and empowering. Cooking is an art, and those women or men who love to do it are great 'artists', (no wonder chefs are one of the highest paid professionals) and when you include this art in making a good home, it is equally worthy of making money for survival. Hence a woman who is making aloo-mutter is not wasting her life in the sweats of kitchen, she is actually mastering a great art. And of course, the feeling of getting appreciated by your family is a great experience. But yes, it is true that society has never appreciated the efforts of a good housewife, but have urged her to be one, by mastering domesticity, and the above article is doing nothing better than our society. I agree with the article on one point; if you do not want to learn something, societal call shouldn't force you for it; not everybody should learn everything. Very true. However, be it a man or a woman, everybody should have their hands on household necessities, because you never know when you need to do it yourself. And homemade food is always healthier and tastier (if well made) than outside food, if husband or wife can cook, hence it is always better to learn something new (even American nutritional departments advice taking homemade food, if you have an option). But again it is a matter of choice. If you want to learn cooking and household works, you will be independent of your maid-concept, if you don't want to learn, you don't like it, then you should not do it.

    But one question to the writer of the above linked article: Will you accept a husband who is not professionally successful and doesn't even want to be so???

    Watched Ki & Ka by R. Balki, at AMC Methuen 20, USA, yesterday, and really liked the concept of putting equivalent emphasis and importance to each role, that of a breadwinner and a homemaker. Kareena and Arjun played their roles with exceptional individualism; There is nothing wrong if a woman is ambitious, there is nothing wrong if a woman chooses his career over child bearing as a married lady, there is no harm if a woman chooses to be successful in corporate field and a man in the house. However, the unusual factor was not that a husband is doing household work; there are various unusual factors in the movie which helps correct our prejorative notions on a man's role and a woman's role in a household. 


    1. Arjun Kapoor disdains the idea that if a woman is not ambitious and chooses to be a housewife means "woh ghar pe baithi hai", no, she is not sitting at home, in fact, giving more of physical labour to make a home worth living for a normal man.

    2. The husband doesn't feel he does something great by supporting his wife. He wants to be free of competition, and hence loves his job as a cook and homemaker.

    3. The tussle is not between man and woman; the conflict is between the breadwinner and the financially dependent homemaker. Socially, whoever earns the money in the family, is the hero, and enjoys the limelight, no-one appreciates the efforts of the home-maker, (the above referred article is no-way different from our general propaganda) Ki & Ka navigates this simple, but apparently invisible fact and also takes a step ahead to correct it, by giving importance to the house husband as well, thus, also exposing the reality that breadwinner does feel jealous of his/her dependent homemaker, though it is not right to be so, independent of gender.

    4. Also breaks the stereotype that there can be a working woman, but no non-working man. It is worth appreciating how Kia sets an assertive and appreciative example by accepting a man and loving him for what he is, irrespective of his money or social status.

    Coming back to the referred article. As I said, it is always good to have some experience with household work for your self safety, irrespective of gender. Foreign do not encourage maids or labour of that kind, and there are places like Norway, Nordic where you do not get ready-made foods as well so easily. Then?However, I cook, I write good articles, I read books on various subjects including religious literacy, I work professionally as a writer, proof reader and reviewer, and I believe being an expert in Chinese and Italian cuisines doesn't diminish my wisdom, as I continue to have healthy political, social and literary arguments with my husband. It is not obvious that everybody should know everything, but it is obvious that you need food to live, and clean the bed and the house to survive, and you cannot deny it, so no comparison with learning household works and other skills like MBA, dance or photography.

    Image source

    Responses 2

    • Sanjna Verma
      Sanjna Verma   Aug 11, 2017 08:33 PM

      Yes you are right. Everyone should be having an experience with household work be it a man or a woman. I have not watched Ki and Ka though but I am somewhat aware of it's theme. This is the best part of this current generation wherein the people are questioning to and challenging the existing stereotypes. Also now that wives have also started being financially independent there has been a whole lot of pressure on them and in such cases, it is actually good for the partner as well to help in certain situation. You never know what kind of work they might be required to do in the future.

      The awareness about such questioning of norms should not remain limited to a smaller group of people but everyone should realise this system and question it. Changes like these will take a lot of years or maybe even generations.

    • Malika Bindal
      Malika Bindal   Jun 02, 2017 10:27 PM

      "Ki and ka" was a great movie.It brought  a new concept to change people's mentality.But I think there are some points in your life when you want your partner also to be successful .Though in movie arjun kapoor became famous but I think that was wrongly picturized.In movie also it was depicted when a boy cooks he is being praised a lot but noone praises for a house wife.

      But anyway apart from the movie I would like to say that it is very good to help your partner in household or everything but to have a loaf of bread for two times a day,in today's era both of them have to burnt midnight oil to have a good life.The above statement is only for middle class and bpl people.

      So I think the movie was good but always remember "reel life can not be compared with real life in any way".

      Real life is always full of obstacles.

  • 11 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    Anant Ambani-A journey from impossible to possible

    anant ambani

    Anant Ambani, the youngest son of Mukesh Ambani is currently topping the news charts with his incredible weight loss- a 108 kilos in just 18 months. Wow! He even defeats the rumoured talks of lypo-surgeries by admitting that he did it with pure yoga, weight exercises and cardiovascular activities, working out almost 6 hours a day.

    Now that takes a lot of courage and determination. In the last article on habit formation we have discussed, that to persevere with your new motive is the toughest job.

    Where it takes more than 3 months to make a practice into habit, this young guy has utilised 18 months to get desirable results.

    He was a patient of hypothyroidism, where the body lacks enough secretion of the thyroid hormone which is responsible for running proper metabolism of the body.

    The cause can be earlier inflammation of the thyroid gland which leaves a large percentage of thyroid cells damaged.

    Next it can also be the result of “medical treatments” like surgery etc. and in Anant’s case, it could have been the strict medications for asthma treatment.

    Hypothyroidism can cause fatigue, weakness, excessive weight gain, muscle cramp, constipation etc.

    As it is health conditions were not favourable for Anant, moreover being the son of a socialite like Mukesh Ambani, he is always in the limelight and so is his weight.

    His obesity has been the subject of mock and cruel humour in the media for quite some time.

    In fact, he and his brother Akash has been twitter’s favourite child when it came to critical jokes on weight.

    The most popular tweet is this one: Sir Ravindra Jadeja ‏@SirJadeja16h

    Red alert. = Expected earthquake in Kolkata later tonight coz Akash Ambani will be doing jhamping jhapang after MI win” and this was retweeted over 250 times, and this kind of harsh criticism are generally posed by society to weighty people, while weight is something which is not under one’s control, and Anant has not been exempted. It is very difficult to accept such negative publicity by the media. It takes a lot of courage to face the fact that not one or two people, but the world is laughing at you, because you are a public figure.

    However, the brave teenager, took this up as a challenge; it identified the social criticism as a motivational factor and instead of getting demoralised or pained, he fought back to overcome his weight.

    aamir khan

    Recently, he has surprised us all including the glamour industry with his amazing improvement. Now he looks fit and handsome, by all natural means.

    When #AdnanSami had lost weight unimaginably, there was similar media speculation on ‘how’, and today it is the same for Anant, however, none of us can deny the inspirational factor in his actions.

    During the hard times, Neeta Ambani, his mother, has always been a strong support for him. He is a lovable child and Neeta believes in training and educating her children with mental strength, courage, wisdom and determination.

    Neeta Ambani was once questioned about her own weight loss and this is what she replied:

    There was no motivation other than my son Anant. He suffers from obesity. He was highly asthmatic so we had to put him on a lot of steroids. He had to lose weight for health reasons. A child does what his mother does, so I couldn't be seen eating while putting him on a diet. So I went on a diet along with Anant. Whatever he ate, I ate. whenever he exercised, I did too. If he went for a walk, I would go along. By virtue of being his mother, I lost weight. He was my main motivation and continues to be, as we are still fighting obesity”, her behaviour is quite a motivation for all mothers who have obese kids but are ashamed to admit it.

    You have to teach your child and encourage him or her to lose weight by doing so yourself. A child learns from parents, especially mother, so what a mother does influences the child the most, and this fact has been utilised by Neeta Ambani as a mother to her kid. Anant learnt the value of fitness from his mother, and vice-versa, because Neeta learnt to be fit while training her child.

    In college, I used to only wear dresses. It's just that clothes look better when you are 57 kilos than when you were 90 kilos! From 90 to 57 has been a big journey,” admits Neeta for herself, and this must have inspired Anant as well.

    Today, the twitter is flooding with best wishes for Anant from the biggest Bollywood stars like #SalmanKhan and athletes like #MSDhoni, hence the media which had been unkind to this teenager, has now turned in favour of him. Anant Ambani has shown a powerful role as a human being by using his courage and determination to turn his fate into favour.

    Refereces 1 2 3 4 5



    Responses 1

    • Malika Bindal
      Malika Bindal   Jun 03, 2017 12:51 PM

      Nothing is impossible.In fact the impossible word itself says"I am possible".

      It is just our negative thoughts that compell us to think that we can't do this or that thing.As we have seen how Anant Ambani lost his weight in just 18 months.Loosing weight is a very tedious task but he proved it true that "If we really want to achieve something then we surely can,we just have to do things in a right way".

      To achieve any goal in our life whether it is about loosing weight or to score good marks we first have to deterministic about what we want and dedicated.Our dedication plays a vital role in our success.

      In nut shell I want to say that we can do anything like anant ambani did.

      So be dedicated towards your goals.

  • 06 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    Emraan Hashmi-a Superhero for his son Ayaan to fight against cancer

    emraan hashmi son ayaan hashmi

    “Then listen to me very carefully. It will take some time, but once we are done, you are going to become better than Iron Man! You will be Ayaan Man!”- Emraan Hashmi.

    Who was going to get ‘better’? Why? And how? Is there anything in the world called a superhero?

    There is a saying in Bengal- bishwase milaaye bostu, torke bohudoor (If you have faith you can materialize things, else arguments can be endless)

    Emraan Hashmi played his life’s biggest role of being the faith provider for his 4-years old son Ayaan, who was diagnosed with Wilms' tumour, a type of cancer that affects the kidneys and typically occurs in children.

    We had discussed in a previous article how we can fight cancer by personifying it as the super villain and imagining self as a super hero, who needs to defeat the villain with full scores. This is what the ‘Murder’ actor progressively did for his son. It is amazing to note how a parent takes hold of a precarious situation, and putting his own emotions and worries behind, he keeps fighting to keep his child in high spirits.

    The unusual kind of cancer is named after a German doctor, Max Wilms, who wrote one of the first medical articles about the disease in 1899, mostly found in children of African breed.

    #EmraanHashmi tricked his son into believing that he was Batman (knowing fully well that Ayaan was in fond of #Batman and would believe whatever he said) and advised Ayaan that he should fight and undergo special sessions which will give him super powers and he will soon become better than any other superhero. This was his attempt to convince his son, that the chemotherapies that he would have to undergo, were not some kind of medical treatment but a magical process of gaining super powers, with which he can fight the devil Cancer.

    He believes that a person who lives his life with responsibility and high head is the biggest superhero.

    There had been critical surgeries and therapies for curing the kid, some in India, some in South Africa, the actor had cancelled several shoots of the film #Mr. X for getting his son the best treatment possible, however, he never allowed the tension and stress to appear on his exterior self, so that his son could have the best mental health during the physical pain.

    “Ayaan's cancer was my life's biggest hurdle. Suddenly, I had to prove to myself that I had in me the stuff that my role models were made off. I had to be Superman, in my own little way. I had to not just fight away the enemy that threatened my son's life, but also prove my mettle professionally... But the real hero was my son... Kids like him are made of sterner stuff than we adults are. They battle the disease one day at a time for months, sometimes years, enduring pain and sacrificing their moments of childhood that will never come back...”, Emraan Hashmi.

    When #KissingKing gets a kiss of death, it is sure to be a huge mental setback for him, especially when his four-year old kid gets affected by it.

    Patience is the best medicine for having a deep cure for a disease. Control over emotions; maintaining calm become really important for fighting serious situations like cancer in family. Hashmi has proved that he is the best actor, the best role model for his son. Ayaan derives the strength from his father to combat the nasty fangs of the tumour. We salute both father and son and wish them all the best for being such a sport in the face of life’s adversities.

  • 04 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    Pratyusha Banerjee-Could Her Depressed Mind Be The Cause Of Her Suicide?

    pratyusha banerjee



    #BalikaVadhu -Kacchi umar ke pakke rishte on Colours TV brought a huge flood of new talent who got a golden opportunity to portray their talent and ability on the screen, and in a short span of time became the heart of every joint family in India. Especially the character of Anandi was loved by the nation as a daughter to be taken proud of. Avika Gaur swore to success as a child artist but grew up the process of the serial which really ran long, and after that there was a leap, after which the plot structure was to change. Now Anandi is a grown up girl and there was enough speculation on who could be the new face for Anandi; who could successfully carry down the legacy of a phenomenal and popular role in the family drama? Finally, the nation chose its daughter again; a new Bengali girl was voted by the audience to play new Anandi who appeared naïve, innocent yet intelligent. Yes, she was none other than the girl next door figure, Pratyusha Bannerjee from Jamshedpur.

    Colours TV had given her all that she required as a person who desires growth and success. She was a star overnight. After this, she joined one season of #BiggBoss, which gave her many more friends and foes and she was popular again due to the TRP of the show. She has done several other reality shows and ramp walks, and has enjoyed the limelight on her as long as she was there. She had a huge fan following. Her colleagues and friends admired her sprightly nature; they claimed she was full of life. She was a high social network enthusiast and her twitter and Instagram accounts were always flooded with new updates that were lively and cheering. Then what happened that we encountered the shocking news on the 1st of April? What caused this young and tender girl of 24, to decease herself? The nation was in shock. Big names brooded over the fact; everyone felt it was April fool’s day and may be this was some kind of a big joke, joke from the Almighty; we just couldn’t accept it. Pratyusha was found hanging from the ceiling in her apartment.

    The press and public are in anxiety, the case appears to be that of a suicide, though rumours are that it could not be so simple and convenient. There could be some heinous story behind it.

    For now, we need to think over, why a young successful girl was pushed towards ending her life?

    Apparently she was going through some problems in her relationship with Rahul Raj Singh, with whom she was to get married soon. A few months back she had accused a few guys for molesting her as cops. Her colleagues and friends remember her as the jovial fun loving girl but they have reported that she had cut off all links with them for quite a long time.

    Dr Shyam Mithiya, MD, DPM, Consultant Psychiatrist, Sexologist and Counsellor told #Catch “If a person has cut down interacting with those people around. He/ she has stopped interacting the way he/ she used to and if there's a drastic downfall in the kind of interaction he/ she used to do earlier, it is a 200 per cent sign of the fact that the person is suffering from depression".

    As for a celebrity, it could be even more serious as they are prone to communicating with more and more people all the time and enjoy exchange of ideas, being the media scoop, they get used to communications; so when such a personality shuts herself from everyone it means something is utterly wrong, she is not well; her mental health is gravely affected.

    For a few weeks, her twitter had mournful indicative messages which implied double meaning about what she was going through, “Marke bhi tujhse moonh na morenge” (will not turn away from you even after I die) only explains her morose state of mind.

    Dr. Mithiya continues to explain about the psychology behind social network posts and updates,

    "A person only puts out something as his/her WhatsApp status or on a social media platform when he/she relates to it. This also shows that the person wants others to know about his/ her status of mind".

    Even if a person is posting songs or lyrics as a status on Facebook or Twitter, it means he or she relates to it at that point of time, and probably the lyrics best describes his/her momentary situation.

    He also explains how a person living away from family in a hectic stressful environment can go through. He or she doesn’t have a medium to vent their feelings and emotions. No one around to discuss the problems. Gradually he or she develops a kind of anxious approach to his/her work environment, no one in the entertainment world cannot be trusted according to him/her. This can be even more frustrating for an individual.

    If Pratyusha actually hung herself, there could be something more than “normal stress”, explains the psychiatrist.

    "This is a wake up calm to families and friends who don't consider depression a medical condition. The death of this young star only reiterates the need to spread awareness about depression,” tweeted famous director, #KaranJohar after this heart-rending incidence.



    Responses 1

    • Sanjna Verma
      Sanjna Verma   Aug 19, 2017 09:09 AM

      I have not known Pratyusha Banerjee though, until the news came that she had committed suicide. For someone like me, this story is informative about how poular she was, as an actor and also how no one could reconcile with her death. As she was a jovial person.  Sometimes I feel that these celebrities need to hide what is going through in their lives as the people might publicise it in a wrong manner thereby causing distress to them. It should be realised by each and every human being that no one has the right to undergo suffering irrespective of caste, age or gender. One should try and get out of it. But for that the most important step is to not be judgemental about stuff. If a person comes to you for help, he/she comes to find a solution out of it. Judgements will make them feel more inferior about their situation. It is disappointing that people fail to consider depression as a severe problem. This awareness still has a long way to go.

  • 01 Apr
    Oyindrila Basu

    Sai Bakery-Baked With Love.

    sai bakery

    Dear Sumithra Ji,


    I have been hearing about Sai Bakery for quite some time now, and the reason why I was initially enthusiastic about your enterprise is because I am a baker myself and love to make homemade chocolate cakes, brownies, fruit and nut cookies etc.

    But my stock of works took a halt when I found that your son bakes some of the most innovative items like the red muffins and blondies (which ofcourse I saw in one of the inspiring videos of Sai Bakery on You Tube) I truly believed that I could be a part of this “yummy exercise” as prescribed by you, as I want to do something big, something creative. I also found that Sai is the only bakery that produces over 25 eggless varieties of whole wheat, multigrain and butter free cookies.

    Though my physical self is often pulled back due to my distorted limbs, but I have not let my spirit be chained. I want to identify myself as one of the productive social individuals like anyone else, despite the fact that due to my 10 years old operation, my movement is restricted by a wheel chair, and I often tend to forget things, I exactly do not know, what syndrome can be allotted to my disability, and I do not even wish to know, because as I am reading more and more about you, I have started believing, that once I join your mission, there will be no ‘dis’ of abilities, rather they will be transformed to special abilities, with which I can learn something new, something fruitful and make most out of the beautiful life that I have by God’s grace.

    Sai Bakery is an inspiration for the society, for common people, that each one of us has a responsibility towards society and lending out a helping hand can help persons with special abilities, identify their worth and utilize their talent for doing something good, which will not only help them learn something productive but also ensure their economic foothold.

    Since the unfortunate event of my life, I have been trying to inspire myself with stories and articles of emerging heroes like Judy Collins (fighter of polio), and the next person to give me new hope is you.

    The way you encouraged your son, Srinivasan to set up something which he dreamt for, you allowed him to “bake”, and supported him, so that he could infuse the dream in others as well, is commendable. In such situations, parents in India, ignore what a growing specially-abled kid is saying. The society feels that they do not have the “intellectual quotient” to determine what life is, but you ignored Sri’s Asperger’s syndrome, and not his will power and the result is Sai bakery.

    Today grown up adults with short learning capabilities do not feel that they are lacking somewhere from the general mass, because your mission has invited these special people with encouragement to create a world for themselves, where they can learn, work and earn for themselves with due self-respect. The money is not important, the immense confidence that it imparts to people like us, is priceless.

    We need special care and attention to survive, but our families are often tired of bearing with us, as the society generally calls any kind of physical or mental disability as a stigma, and they either show sympathy, or disrespect towards us. We may be different from the mass, but we are human like everyone else in the society and we want to live, proudly, happily and I am glad Sumitra Ji, that your initiative gives this opportunity to atleast some.

    When I see Shoma on the videos, when I find her recycling the plastic bottles and papers into beautiful flowers and decoratives for the cakes, that too while moving on a wheelchair, I believe your words,

    We are not a regular bakery. We make products when we get orders and deliver them fresh. Our aim is not to earn profits but to empower and give a sense of respect and individuality to these adults who have been often ignored even by their own families,” and I wish I can do the same someday.

    Sai bakery definitely doesn’t look like a bakery, but more like a ‘canopy’, a love nest, where you are bringing up a family with growing adults, and the institute not only fulfils their economic need, but more significantly their special needs, social, emotional and psychological needs.

    Baking is just a part of engaging them in activities, but you look towards complete self-development of an individual with your special yoga, exercise classes, and spiritual development as well through prayer sessions. Today, the ones who lack so called “intellectual quotient” actually know what to do, because of you.

    sai bakery

    Today your family members, Babu, Anand ji, Sharmini Ji and Shoma, really inspire me a lot, some of whom are fighting with severe diseases like cerebral palsy, autism and retardation, but never express it on their face or in their work. Envisioning them gives me courage, I feel I am much more blessed and can easily overcome my weaknesses with your support.

    Sai bakery started as a neighbourhood initiative in Thiruvanmiyur, Chennai, in 2013 supported by DORAI (Development Opportunities Resources Access Insight) Foundation, to socialize the specially-abled adults, when you felt that,

    We all have dreams, but to make them come true, it takes a lot of effort. When my son Srinivasa expressed his desire to set up a bakery, it was imperative that we supported him to work towards achieving it,” and eventually in the process, you have been a wonderful mother, a wonderful entrepreneur, and helped fulfil dreams of many individuals, by giving us a hope, a true support to rejuvenate our spirit, so that we can live our lives on our own terms.

    Today you are successful in your aim. Not only have you initiated the removal of stigma from special ability, but have also succeeded in spreading an awareness and sensitivity in society, such that many like me, know about you and want to join you, and many from their hearts praise you and salute you for doing something so noble.

    Sai bakery will continue to grow, and will help others grow with their abilities, and I will be really honoured if I could join your mission and give you the taste of my cakes.

    Baked with love,

    An ardent admirer with special abilities.

    References: 1 2 3


    Responses 1

    • Oyindrila Basu
      Oyindrila Basu   Sep 04, 2016 09:21 PM

      Thank you, for organizing something so great for the society, and also that you found sometime to read through and encourage our efforts in creating awareness about good mental health.

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