• 23 Sep
    Oyindrila Basu

    I Bleed PINK

    pink movie

    "Where the walls are not the boundaries, but the protective power;

    Where the ribbon is the strangling weapon of Beauty;

    Where the color of her lips doesn't lure, but scare the Beast away;

    Where the nails with all its polka dots, notches and scars the bad flesh and dumps it off in the garbage of sins;

    Where the drink isn't sparkling sensual hues, but is washing the Social mind;

    Where the color keeps my fear away; I'd love to bleed PINK."

    pink movie

    'Pink' is a girly color, and there is no logical reasoning behind it, except for yet another schoolistic authoritative information by our society; in fact, boys wearing 'Pink' is a stigma, it tarnishes their masculinity.

    The color which beautifies the roses and marks the flesh as fresh; the color which sweetens the candy floss and bubbles the blood of the sacrificial goat, becomes just another metaphor for effeminate qualities, thanks to our well-versed and extremely intellectual society.

    The ambiguity of ideas related to Pink have been well narrated in a scenic version by Shoojit Sircar and Aniruddha Roy Chowdhury.

    The story is quite simple and predictable; revolves around three working women of current time, sharing a flat on rent, free of personal and social biases, in short, having all the characteristics of the so called 'outgoing and adamant' women rather than independent and individualistic women of society. As a matter of fact, they get into trouble with some rich, influential chauvinistic guys, and hence follows a molestation episode with an elaborate trial session (which is the real part of the plot) of course, of the girls, not the guys.

    The girls file a complaint, and in return, they are made to stand on the deck with contradicting charges against them. The idea seems familiar? Yes indeed it is; we have faced such stark, realistic court room sessions with women, in graver situations like Rituparno Ghosh's Dahan(1997), B.R. Chopra's Insaaf Ka Tarazu (1980), Tapan Sinha's Adalat O Ekti Meye(1982), and not to forget the real story of Suzette Jordan, the victim of Park Street incident in 2012. The above mentioned fictions as well as the true incident, draws a verisimilitude of ideas, where the victim herself was asked for the testimony of her character, in the medical examination room, in the police station and finally in the court. Rather, the film showed what its trailer showed, unlike films like Drishyam, which had already revealed the story through its trailer, but had kept something 'yet to know', through its plot structure. Besides, the questions asked and raised today are synonymous to what were asked 30 years back, so what has changed? But in spite of this being true, Pink (2016) stands out among them, in various aspects-

    pink movie

     

    1. The story is framed in a contemporary society, the characters are relevant, they are real, and have the ability to fight their fears.
    It is true, 'darr sab ko lagta hai, gala sabka sukhta hai, par darr ke aage jeet hai', laughing Not only the brave girls stand up against their fears, but also an old man, who had lost all hopes for himself and his profession (because of his inappropriate psychological disposition), gets an opportunity to prove his expertise, and he does so proficiently, fighting his fear in the process.


    Here comes the excellence of Sree Amitabh Bachchan who subtly manages to give his expressions as a willing, but weak person (weak of age, and of health too). When the court room session begins in the second half, we expect that "Bachchan Saab to prosecution ki dho dega", but unfortunately, the old Mr. Sehgal has the finesse of a lawyer, but lacks the confidence to present his case, due to the long time gap, and disconnection from practice, he gradually develops and musters himself through the proceedings which is a commendable thing to note.

    2. The film bridges the gap of mentalities between the past and the present; it falsifies the notion that people from the past generation have orthodox ideas about social norms which is basically a promotion of patriarchy; in this film, a 74-year old lawyer Deepak Sehgal believes and stands by the three young girls, for truth, justice and righteousness, while the majority of so called the present learned, enlightened contemporary society, is still in the darkness of rotten assumptions, regarding what a girl should do and what she should not.

    3. Director constantly intrigues our senses with contradictions and open-endedness.
    The film has been named PINK, which is a creative contradiction to the operative thought process of society, that the color symbolizes weakness, coyness, submission, grace, elegance and anything delicate. From the ironic title, we know that what it is going to show will be completely opposite, and it IS the story of bravery, courage, uprightness and all qualities that mean strong.
    Minal's molestation is kept a '?', and I think this has been done on purpose to keep us on our toes, the open ended nature of this incident has been harped on with the cinematography, as well as through dialogue delivery of barrister Sehgal, who mistakenly calls it 'raped' first and then corrects it to 'molested', so that we as audience, are unsure of what the fact actually is, whether she is raped or molested? Also the open-ended beginning of the movie, where the actual event of the rock concert night is never clearly shown, until the end, tickles the audiences' thought process.

    4. Unlike the other films, mentioned above, this one shows a positive beginning for the society; justice is finally served; please note, the Pink saree of Dahan, became a weak point for the court proceedings, the Pink rays of sunset in Gopalpur, marked the shameful and humiliating ordeal of an enlightening, but defeated woman in Adalat O ekti Meye, but the Pink bra of Minal made all of us proud as women, it fought back with courage and enthusiasm; it preserved lives, and that is how the film is different, in spite of being same.

    Pink is different because is shows fightback. Minal doesn't succumb to her fate but hits the bottle on the brat, which is a great thing; The instinctive fear to move, the fear to stand up, the fear to push and the fear to hit hard that a woman absorbs within her, when she is being badly touched by a male, has been obliterated in this film.

    A girl for the first time, doesn't submit to the patriarchal beliefs, but hits them hard till they bleed badly; the courage to break the bottle is important; when you are being attacked, the natural defense mechanism is important; the consequences will follow; now imagine, if Minal had given up strength in the resort room, and had got raped, would that save her any social humiliation, than she was having now, after being charged of attempt to murder? No. The things would be all the same; the society would taunt her and question her character even then, history proves it; so why not fight and face it! Give the thrashing and then pay for it, rather than get trampled and yet pay the price. Death should be of glory and not of shame; “It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.” - Mark Twain

    Women, you should keep the fire ignited within, so that you can fight with honor before you die; fear will try to scare you, but never retreat, never retreat the battle of life, use the color Pink as your strength, as your weapon to behead all the ugly minds brutally.

  • 10 Aug
    Pooja Sarkar

    Mom, I am worthless, good for nothing.

     mother and daughter

    Every day my family and I used to have our dinner together. One day my 19yrs old daughter came late to the dinner table and there was discussion regarding politics and sports. My daughter was quite reluctant to participate on that day. Still, after pushing her many times, he shouted at me and said to me that – “I am worthless, I am good for nothing. Please leave me alone.” I became speechless to hear it.

    She is our single child, we stay in an extended family. My daughter was pre-mature baby, that’s why she had some severe respiratory problem after birth. She has been introvert since her childhood, but she was throughout good in study. She used to have a few friends throughout her entire life. On her very first day in school, she cried the most among all kids. She was facing many difficulties in sharing her own belongings. She didn’t even have any close friend in her school.

    Our family was quite rigid and conservative. When she went to college, in a broader society, she started to face some troubles to mix up with others as in home she used to be the center of attention all the time, she got attention without asking anything also. But in the broad area there are acceptance and rejection as well. She always wanted to be isolated from everyone. She never felt comfortable in crowds. My husband also is reserved to some extent. Some odd event has happened that day in her school, my daughter couldn’t handle it. She always had a craving for doing the best in class. On her 6th grade, she couldn’t do well as she was not well physically, she burst out in anger that time. She couldn’t even take any criticism about her. She wants to live with herself. No one can be accepted by everyone. For her withdrawn nature, she became aloof from everyone, then she has concluded that she is worthless, she can’t do anything.

    What all mothers should do when their child is facing with the similar kind of problem:

    • Let your children feel their hurt: When one goes to this stage many Neuro chemical changes happen in the body and due to that many negative thoughts come to the mind. Finding and healing hurt is one of ways you can do.
    • Teach them it can be ok as a human: When we are upset, we lose our ability to be human. Every human feels the pain, its not exception with her. She has to be understood. Make your child understand that learning is done by mistakes. Life isn’t a popularity contest, don’t judge yourself by other’s views.
    • Does self-evaluation: Self-evaluation will be helpful for me to understand yourself in a better way, when one can evaluate her/his own self,he/she will be very helpful with their own.
    • Live in present: Everyone should live in the present instead of living in the past or in future. Tell yourself that, you can do better than today.
    • List down your strength points: Always list down your strength parts every day, so that no one can make you down mistakenly.
    • Go through Autobiographies of enthusiastic figure: Any enthusiastic story makes you understand how one goes to the highest form, at the beginning, every successful person faces struggle and after that they can reach to that level. Each small dots can make a big line.
    • Go and communicate with others: Communication helps you to get connected with different people and you can understand one’s perspective about you and so on.

    Image source

     

  • 09 Aug
    Pooja Sarkar

    My experience: a blend of emotions

    adhd child and counsellor 

    Let me share with you my experience of my son with ADHD.

    My son is 14yrs old now, and my daughter is 11yrs old. They both go to an international school.

    I noticed my son had some difficulties in understanding. Since he was 6months I said to my husband, but he denied.

    I said to my family members they also denied and told me it’s not the age to understand. My son during his 6months used to cry for more than 1hr at a time without any reason.

    Once he has grown up and when he started to go to school, I noticed everyday he made some meaningless sounds anytime and couldn’t write properly.

    After that I said to my husband again, he shouted at me and denied. Two years passed, when my boy was in grade 4, complains started to come from a school day by day. It was difficult for me to handle it anymore.

    I went to a psychiatrist, after hearing everything from me, he suggested me for doing psychometric tests, I did everything, the report came and my son was diagnosed with ADHD.

    What is it? I asked the doctor.

    It  was an entirely new term for me, I kept questioning to the doctor, whatever, then I got that some attention-concentration problem was there with my son, medicines provided to him to control the secretion of a hormone, named Dopamine.

    Actually then I realized to be strong for my son only, I started to look after him more and more. He had to take medicine twice a day, but medicines literally made him drowsy, he always became sleepy after taking it.

    For a mother it was so painful that cannot be expressed in words. One day I changed my mind and went to another expert, she was a psychologist, I asked help from her to change my son’s life.

    She helped me to understand what was going into my son’s mind and why he behaved like that. She used to take two sessions per week with my son and me.

    It was the best time for me to go to her chamber and talked to her. My son amazingly built up a rapport with her after a few sessions and he worked almost according to her words.

    He started to develop his unrecognized quality. We were really impressed and happy, that psychologist told us to talk to the school for special classes.

    My son started to go to special classes, and the most important thing was he studied as per his capacity. He did well then.

    Whatever area, he was lacking, we were focused on those areas to improve rather than academic performance.

    My son also started realizing the importance of concentration and efforts needed for it, he is now in grade 8, and he is daily improving himself.

    My family members and I would like to thank the psychologist who helped us understand meaning of life and gave us positive lights to live life happily.

    Image source

  • 23 Jun
    Oyindrila Basu

    The Best Bald Dad in the World proved his love on the Father’s Day.

    best bald dad

    Yet again it was proved, that children are the most precious things in a parent’s life.

    There is nothing more that concerns him, no fear, no pain, no social prestige or image is worthier than his 8-year-old son Gabriel.

    Yes, we are talking about the 28-year old ‘twin’ to Gabriel, Josh Marshall, who makes himself a replica of his son, to boost self-confidence in the young kid.

    Marshall’s son was diagnosed with anaplastic astrocytoma in 2015. It’s a form of brain tumour, rare and malign in nature and the child was fighting since then; but not for a moment was he alone; his father was there always to make him feel strong. He never let his son realize that he was suffering from cancer which was a deadly disease. They live in Kansas, a happy and peaceful life.

    Marshall’s idea was to teach his son the importance of life, so every moment they enjoyed; they played and jumped and gamed together; he never let his worries or anxiety reflect on his face, for he knew that his son would panic if so happened.

    best bald dad

    If you let your child think that something is serious, he will be afraid of it. A child learns from parents.

    Being in the best of mental health is very very important for a person already frail in physique, and Marshall’s knew he could not let his son lose; he could not let him weaken in mind, so he himself remained strong and joyful to keep his up in spirits.

    Recently, his son has had the operation, the 9-months treatment has given him a new life; some parts of the tumour still remains, but “he is stable now”, as reported by the Doctor.

    However, the child felt like a ‘monster’, because of his bald head and treatment scar.

    Even now, Marshall’s stood by him as a responsible father. He wanted his son to glorify his victory over cancer, he wanted him to have immense self-confidence, so he himself shaved his head and had a tattoo resembling his son’s scar on the head.

    Gabriel should not feel alone; he should feel confident and happy that he is getting treated and fighting over cancer.

    Marshall won St. Baldrick’s 2016 #BestBaldDad with 5,000 votes on Father's Day, this year. Alison Sutton, St. Baldrick’s Foundation’s social media manager, told it was “the first time we’ve seen an entry where a dad went above and beyond shaving his head in solidarity with his child and got a tattoo to build his son’s self-confidence.”

    We have acknowledged #EmraanHashmi as the superhero for his son Ayaan, while he was fighting with cancer, and now we salute to the spirits and courage of yet another Dad, Josh Marshall, who is always there with his son Gabriel on his journey. Cheers to good health and life!

  • 13 Jun
    Oyindrila Basu

    Orlando shooter- it is incorrect to blame his Bipolar alone for this tragedy

    Omar Mir Seddique Mateen

    “A total of 49 people were killed and 53 injured after 29-year-old Mateen opened fire in Orlando’s Pulse gay nightclub. Initially police announced that 50 people had been killed, apparently mistakenly counting Mateen as a victim. The shooting is considered the deadliest in recent US history,” says Sitora Yu Sufi, ex-wife of Orlando nightclub shooter, Omar Mateen.

    This New York born US citizen, Omar Mateen, professes Islamic State and is known to be brought up by a family of first-generation Afghan immigrants who are on FBI’s radar for quite a few years.

    His marriage lasted for four months, and now his wife is out to the media with real reason behind their divorce in 2011, which she claims is Bipolar Disorder. 

    Mateen used to beat up his wife and was abusive and violent for petty reasons; she had to call up her family so that they could come and save her from the rage of her husband.

    “Mateen showed signs of emotional instability and sickness and was mentally unstable and mentally ill [and] obviously disturbed and traumatized,” says his ex-wife.

    He was also vindictive towards homosexuality, as because Islam doesn’t support it.

     

    eWellness Expert's views

    "Bipolar can cause violent behaviour, but it CANNOT cause hatred towards a race, sexuality, religion etc. It can't make you a sympathazier of ISIS. Blaming mental illness for terrorism or such mass killing can further stigmatize people with mental health issues, which is completely against the vision of eWellness Expert"

    Let's understand Bipolar disorder in detail.

    Bipolar Disorder can be chronic and needs a proper treatment by mental health professional.

    Bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic depression, causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). A person can be dejected from life without hope at one moment, sulking in the bed, can also lead to suicidal thoughts; while on the other moment, he can just be charged up and behave in heightened mood of anger, or excitement.

    Throwing things, breaking objects in anger, hitting someone or hitting on the wall in rage suddenly, can be termed as bipolar behaviour.

    Manic symptoms can range from:

    • Long period of over-elated happy mood
    • Restlessness
    • High sexual drive
    • Boundless energy
    • Inflated self-esteem
    • Feeling of Grandiosity
    • Interest in a lot of new projects

     

    to

     

    • Irritability
    • Agitation
    • Impractical plans
    • Psychosis, delusions and hallucinations.

    Depressive symptoms can be:

    • Teary eyes all the time
    • Fatigue
    • Anxiety
    • Loss of energy
    • Uncontrollable crying
    • Indecisiveness
    • Psychosis
    • Sleep disturbances and weight loss.

    Bipolar disorder can be caused due to problem in specific brain circuits or balance of brain chemicals or neurotransmitters. Sometimes, it can be hereditary, that is flowing in the family. Individuals and their relatives are found to behave similarly. Researchers conclude that the lifetime chance of an identical twin (of a bipolar twin) to also develop bipolar disorder is about 40% to 70%.

    The researchers also found that 40% of the 47 first-degree relatives of the bipolar II patients also had bipolar II disorder; 22% of the 219 first-degree relatives of the bipolar I patients had bipolar II disorder. However, among patients with bipolar II, researchers found only one relative with bipolar I disorder.

    It can be harmful to the individual and in some cases to his loved ones, especially wife or close relatives. A person may not have much control over his emotions and the outbursts so he can inflict violence on others. 

    Recently, in Kolkata a case of suicide has come up in the news where a husband burnt himself alive, and his wife was watching the television; neighbours have reported that the wife was generally too loud and rude in the house and often used abusive languages for people in the neighbourhood; here her husband's emotional responce is also to blame. Suicide is not a solution to any problem.

    Yo Yo Honey Singh, a popular rapper, singer and musician in India suffered from Bipolar disorder for almost two years, and we have spoken on it in a previous story, but he recovered from it with proper psychiatric help.

    Will power is very important. There should be the self-determination to get cured. You should resort to something creative and constructive so that the mood swings can be pacified and the huge energy be channelized in a positive way.

    Feel free to Ask A Therapist

    Read more

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