Dear Mom and Dad,
Exams are coming and I am scared. I am scared that I might fail to live up to your expectations once again. I am scared that you will feel disappointed in me. I am scared to talk to you because all we talk of is about competitions and marks and nothing else. I am scared of being compared to Sameeksha every time.
It makes me feel worthless. I am so scared that I want to get invisible and not face you anymore. I try and try yet I fail in your eyes. I did not perform the way you wanted me to in this term but I did improve. I wanted you to acknowledge my efforts but they were probably not worth your appreciation.
I try harder in every attempt I make but I somehow fail to meet your expectations. Am I asking for too much when I expect you to understand that I and Sameeksha are two different individuals and have different capacities? I am not capable of sitting for hours and hours to study. I find it difficult to recall if I strain myself too much.
I understand that you love me and want to ensure that I have a secure future but I feel trapped in your expectations. I feel suffocated when I am not allowed to watch my favorite Television show or I am not allowed to go out with my friends. I do not understand how will locking me in my room help me get better grades.
When you talk about my academic performance in front of my cousins with that look in your eyes, it embarrasses me. I cry at night thinking about how can I make you say "well done beta, I am proud of you". I struggle hard to keep up with my classmates in the school and then in my evening classes and I try to find solace when i come home.
All I expect are few words of encouragement but I am left disappointed because all you ask me how my studies are going. You never care to listen what I have to say. I know you are very busy but are you that busy that you don't even have few minutes to know how my day was?
Do you remember, the time I asked you to let me join the dance classes but you asked me not to waste time on useless things. It left me disheartened. I love to dance and I so wanted to join the classes but I did not just because you didn't want me to. Yet, you are not happy. I fail to understand what exactly am I supposed to do to make you happy.
I still try to understand and promise myself to give my all to prove myself in front of you. But it is never enough. I know you have a lot of expectations from me and I can't thank you enough for everytthing you have done for me. I am really proud to be your daughter and please trust me, I am trying and will keep on trying my best to be what you want me to be and I promise you that a day will come when I will make both of you proud of me.
All that I want is you to have faith in me and support me even when I am not doing that well. Your encouragement is the biggest motivation I can get. Please, accept me the way I am and please stop comparing me with anyone. Please, stop scaring me about the future and let me live in the present the way I want to live. I very well understand that I need to take the responsibility as I am no more a four year old.
I want you to realize that I am not a kid anymore. I am sixteen and I need not be told always what I need to do.Sometimes, just let me be. You might feel that I am careless with my studies but it is not so. I want to do good not just because you want me to but I want to be good for myself too. I want that day to come in my life when I see you shouting to everyone with pride that " look that's my daughter".
I know it is my tenth boards this year and I should be studying instead of writing this letter to you but it took a lot of courage for me to tell you how I feel so that next time you come in my room, you come to pat my shoulder saying that you know I can and I will do well and not just to check on me or to tell me how difficult my exams are going to be. Your faith in me is the biggest inspiration I can get.
Your loving daughter.